Saturday, 22 April 2017

How To Trigger Libtards

Make the White House the White Trash House by inviting all your semi retarded redneck friends for a photo op.

What that was about was that Trump needed the best minds that America could muster. Bill O'Reilly was off meeting the Pope and Alex Jones is in the middle of a custody trial .... he isn't really a conspiracy nutcase ya know, it's performance art. Hey didn't Charles Manson use that defense? 

So Ted Nugent, Kid Rock and Sarah Palin were the best Trump could get. Nugent and Mr Rock had their plus one, boy did Trump do some presidential pussy grabbing and I don't mean he grabbed Nugent or Rock.  

The master race fixing the cuntry

After sending the two nobody broads to get coffee he gave the 3 uber patriots instant top level clearance. They investigated any Russian connections to the Trump's campaign but they all agreed there was nothing there and anyone that says there is are obviously being instructed to by the Obama administration . 

A plan to defeat ISIS was formed too. Mr Rock who you can see is in his thinking pose wanted to hit them in their pocket as illegal oil sales are one of their main sources of income but Ted said 'that was fucking gay' and suggested big bombs instead ... they liked the big bomb idea more. Well that's ISIS more or less beat.  

Palin wanted to go with Trump's previous plan of jailing anyone that disrespected or burned the American flag but was told to be seen and not heard 'little missy' and she said 'you betcha!' and gave an old folksy wink.

Palin recently said that those women who were sexual harassed by Bill O'Reilly were to share some of the blame too as they hung around to get paychecks instead of putting a stop to it or leaving.   

Geez, it sounds so obvious when she puts it like that. Don't forget little ladies to avoid being raped just keep yer legs together ... duh! 

Trump will be visiting Vietnam in November if he's still president which led to him and Nugent swapping Nam stories. For 3 hours they spoke about their exploits. Mr Rock said, "didn't you both dodge the draft?" and was set straight. Living through that time and seeing the news every night was more or less the same as having served. 

They were going to sort out healthcare but it's a difficult subject believe it or not so best to just not bother. 

Trump spoke of his plans to reverse the Obama law that infringed upon the 2nd amendment rights of white Americans refusing to let them buy guns upon their release from prison. 

Over the past 8 years the fear that Obama was to take all the guns increased gun sales from gullible Conservatives and now sales have slumped. 

 This is what Obama does now

I bet that even after the next big shooting spree (aren't we about due one?) that guns sales won't increase that much then too. The people buying guns now are worried Libtards but they only buy little pink guns .... but no bullets cos loud noises scare them and what if they hurt someone? .... what if it was a person of color? .... oh the shame and white guilt.  

It was a productive White House meeting and Trump strongly hinted that there were top adviser jobs that needed filled. The three amigos and their significant others were abruptly ushered out as Scott Baio had turned up with some ideas about North Korea that he had in the shower that morning. 


Thursday, 20 April 2017

Trump's Twilight

World leaders forget things all the time, David Cameron once forgot his 8 year-old daughter at a pub ... no it wasn't a 3 am bender it was lunch and he thought she was in the car with his wife. Obama forgot he was a Muslim from Kenya and totally forgot to take all the guns and to put people into FEMA camps.

So it's not unusual. Neither is falling, some politicians became more famous for falling down than for their policies such as Gerald Ford and Neil Kinnock.     

Trump has a fear of falling. It was a slight incline that caused him to take little panicked steps and to grab his mommy's Theresa May's hand to steady him. It wasn't sexism or affection though the act itself was embarrassing and repulsive. 

Calling 9/11 7/11, walking out without signing two bills, forgetting to put his hand on his heart for the anthem, forgetting Paul Ryan's name and kept referring to him as Ron, forgetting he has a wife and racing on ahead of her .... what politician hasn't blundered this much huh? .... what all of them?

Not even uber stupid Vice President Dan Quayle who corrected the spelling of a dumb 12 year-old had as many memorable blunders. It's spelled potatoe by the way, spell it like you say it for fucks sake.  

He talked to Xi for hours without an interpreter which explains the fixed glazed look.

People are catching on. I called it months ago but now they are saying it. Trump shows signs of early dementia. Some symptoms include irritability, personality changes, restlessness and a lack of restraint.

He also shows signs of sundowning, otherwise known as late-day confusion. Ever wonder why he seems so active in the morning? 

In one of his books he said that he only gets 3-4 hours of sleep, he could be lying of course or he could be like Napoleon, Thomas Edison, Churchill, Margaret Thatcher and Bill Clinton.

Some people don't need much sleep while others like Churchill saw sleep as a waste of time and tried to do without or train the body to need less. 

Sleep deprivation can lead to obesity, high blood pressure, heart disease, diabetes, and stroke. Look at him, he plays golf every weekend but has a layer of blubber and undefined muscles. He waddles like someone that is overweight and has the diabeetus.

Chronic sleeplessness could be to blame for his erratic, offensive, and idiotic behavior. His poor judgement and ill-informed opinion the lacking of basic facts about Lincoln or the death status of Frederick Douglas and Martin Luther King jr ... who are both still dead by the way.

Poor sleep also leaves you open to Alzheimer’s ... like Margaret Thatcher.

                                     Look at that ass, my wife Ivanka has a banging hot body.

Old Knudsen's Ma had the Alzheimer’s, the early stages you could pass off as being forgetful or eccentric as she was always one for a little joke or would make light of her mistakes. Old Knudsen's siblings preferred to ignore it and make excuses and so blamed poor Old Knudsen when he tried to get her help as that would mean they had to face up to the truth.
Old Knudsen's evil sister would buy her those horrible tabloids. Pretty soon Ma Knudsen was imaging people out to kill her and seeing pedos everywhere ... no I didn't have me friends round you pass remarkable fuckers.

 Why does Michael J Fox shake so much? ... cos he's a moosalim who wants to kill your children!

Look at Trump, he only watches TV to slag it off or if it's about him. Other than that he watches Fox News, reading Breitbart or listening to Alex Jones. The information the (throws up in mouth) President gets is less  informed and less honesty ... it's a werd and properly used here... believe me.  
My wife is so hot I can't stop kissing her 

Check out his interviews from 30 years ago, he sounds like he has a brain, he's calm and doesn't shout over people. Now he's incoherent when he speaks off script and peppers his vocabulary with basic words not at all elaborate. When he spoke about uranium he kept saying the word 'things' and his sentences stop and start as if he knows what he's saying but can't use his words. 

When a person with dementia is pressed they often get angry and frustrated. Trump also has his narcissism and his type A personality ... A for Asshole. 

 He also has a fear of little German boys

It's difficult to make a diagnosis from what we are seeing on screen but remember, what we are seeing is supposed to be a controlled version. Like how you only tell about yer dinners and have 10 year-old pics as yer social media profiles, they are the best versions of you, yer gnarly ass leak and double chins aren't brought up at all.  

Would any other world leader have cameras on them as they pointed and barked orders at their wife telling her where to sit?   

The people around him should be shielding him but I reckon they are walking on eggshells as Trump could get rid of them on a whim. They are too afraid to hide what he is or to tell him not to do something. 

He isn't the President, he isn't serving the people of the US. He is the Sun King and he demands tribute.  

Monday, 17 April 2017

Wag The Dog Perception Changing


The strike against Syria was called 'Trump's wag the dog moment' which comes from an awesome movie made in 1997. The whole wag the dog thing comes from an expression  Why does the dog wag its tail? Because a dog is smarter than its tail...  If the tail were smarter, it would wag the dog.

It's all about the tail wagging the dog in other words keeping you distracted from the truth.

Not about any president in particular because it's about the spin and bullshit rather than a political attack or satire. It mirrored real life events in the past as well as the future. The movie president did something inappropriate with a Firefly girl (the fictional equivalent of a Girl Scout) and a spin doctor was brought in to make it better as there was an election just days away. Weeks after the movie release the Clinton and Lewinsky sex scandal came out.  

De Niro is brought in and immediately stalls for time because an extended trip in China buys him another couple of days and it's all about filling days and getting past the election. 

He tells the room of advisers that the president's delay certainly has nothing to do with the B-3 Bomber so definitely don't be leaking that.  

They are a bit slow to catch on. De Niro just made up a fictional bomber and a possible distraction story on the spot. 

[Kim jong un may have nukes and can strike at the US we have to do something]

North Korea might have nukes ... I didn't know there was a law against it.  They cannot either now or in the near future strike at the US. Their subs are old from the 60's and have a range of 300 miles, a missile assuming they were able to launch one could have up to 600 miles at the very most.

The worry is really for South Korea and Japan, our wealthy allies. To make a strike more palpable to the world and the American people they have to talk in terms of Americans under threat so then they talk about NK striking the US or against the numerous US bases ... lets hope they don't target the black site in Thailand known as Detention Site Green cos how can the CIA ignore human rights if the black sites are blown up ... no they can't use one of the 21 prison ships they use to get around pesky laws. 

The reason why Trump flip flopped with NATO is Article 5. If an ally gets attacked we back them up. Trump is getting ready to strike NK and the Chinese manipulated him to that point. 

[lets hope Kim jong un doesn't use those new ICBM's he kindly put on show for us in his recent parade or fill up rockets with Sarin as President Abe mentioned] 

De Niro just hopes that the news of the B-3 Bomber being leaked doesn't mess up its testing because it has to be ready for the crisis. 

 You have to make other things back the story up so they send a General to talk with Boeing and make sure that news gets out. 

Tidbits to the reporters to make them work for you. Like the ratings hungry Rachel Maddow who teased that she had Trump's tax returns but had nothing news worthy.

Leaks have long been used to get a fake story out. Recently a memo from General Mattis about plans to board Iranian boats in international waters was leaked. Mattis is hawkish about Iran, this is well known but getting that out there suggests that the US isn't all just talk.

Make sure you have your own Sean Spicer to deny things in order to make people even more suspicious.

Trump complains about leaks and suddenly a couple of pages of his tax returns with no damning news on them and stamped with 'clients copy' comes out ... that a news cycle taken up about a nothing news story.  So yeah, he leaks his own stuff. 

You think he tweets to keep the public informed? The whole wire tapping thing was a massive pile of bullshit but it came from the president so of course it had to be investigated even though it wasn't true.  

While on a plane to enlist the help of a Movie producer (Dustin Hoffman) De Niro talks about the concept of distraction and says it's nothing new.  

No time to shout BEIRUT! like Conservatives have been shouting BENGHAZI! ... and that was only with 4 dead. Reagan had 10 embassies attacked, 318 deaths including one ambassador but who remembers that? 
Bush had 13 attacks, 66 dead. Obama had 2 attacks with just the 4 at Benghazi dead. Not to belittle the tragic deaths for 4 men but shame on those shouting Benghazi and demanding justice while ignoring the 384 deaths. 

De Niro points out that while no one remembers the wars but they do remember the slogans.   "We remember the slogans, we can't even remember the fucking wars. You know why? That's show business. That's why we're here. Naked girl covered in Napalm. 'V for Victory'. Five Marines raising the flag, Mt. Suribachi. You remember the picture 50 years from now, you'll have forgotten the war. The Gulf War, smart bomb falling down a chimney. 2500 missions a day, 100 days. ONE video of ONE bomb."   

Remember the Maine!  ... Tippecanoe and Tyler Too! ... 54-40-Or Fight! 

He suggests a war. Well not a real one, just the appearance of one. He randomly says "Albania" when asked What have they done to us? he replies "What have they done FOR us? What do you know about them?" ... nothing ..."See? They keep to themselves. Shifty. Untrustable."

The producer makes a set with green screen to show Albania and how we must save the people such as this young Albania gurl running away from the rape squads with her kitten. Tracey in the video was told she could never put this on her resume.

A little like Trump fighting for gassed children. Ivanka suggested he did it, not because it was right but because it would help them to look better.

New York Mayor Bill de Blasio held up a picture of a dead Syrian child to shame Chris Christie who rejected allowing Syrian refugees (especially orphans under the age of 5) into New Jersey. 

Without acknowledging the irony, ambassador to the UN Nikki Haley held up pictures of dead gassed children in Syria to justify the US bombing an unimportant landing strip.

The US has already compassionately put a hold on the Syrian refugee program. That makes this dog and pony show even more distasteful.

Like a girl and her kitty hit them in the feels huh ... while the un-trendy and not of use deaths get ignored. 

Then you have to have a Live Aid type song too. 

There comes a time, in the course of human events... when a threat must be answered... with courage and strength... Our forefathers earned ... The right to be free. Now it's time... To guard their dream.

We guard ... Our American borders ... We guard the American dream ... We guard our right, to fight for democracy ... And keep our country free. We guard our American spirit ... We guard the American dream. 

Then the movie also had this one. 
"American girls and American guys ... We'll always stand up and salute ... We'll always recognize
When we see Old Glory flying ... There's a lot of men dead .... So we can sleep in peace at night when we lay down our head." 

Oh wait, this is an actual song. One of the many that came out after 9/11.  My favorite being Iraq and Roll ... You think the 1997 movie was being corny and dumb until you realise it's very close to reality. 

Patriots, especially those that have never served but do the most shouting for war tend to bug the fuck out of Old Knudsen.  The people that make the decision to go to war should A. have been to war and B. have a child that is serving in the military ... not draft dodging loud mouths whose life experience has been in a pampered elitist bubble.   

In the movie a rival presidential candidate with the backing of the CIA took the wind from De Niro's sails and declared the war over. Don't you hate it when the Intel community get political? ... yeah I'm looking at you FBI. 

They still had days to the election and didn't want the sex scandal in the news so they made up a US soldier that had been left behind in Albania. The fictional Albanian terrorists released a photo and in it had the secret morse code message 'courage mom'  ... a soldier that loves his mom, I think I'm tearing up.

Like the crew of the USS Pueblo captured by the North Koreans in 1968. Displayed for propaganda the crew had one person in each photo designated to show the middle finger. The North Koreans questioned it and believed it when the sailors said it was a Hawaiian good luck sign. The North Koreans sure didn't get any brighter over the years. 

In the movie the soldier picked to be the captured hero was called Sgt Schumann ... old shoe. So De Niro and Hoffman throw shoes over trees and cables and soon it catches on. The public buy into it and run with it. 
They even invented the unit that Schumann had served in, the 3-0-3.  

These days people sell ribbons and t-shirts or just change their social media profile pic if they can't be arsed but want to show their friends they care because it's what the sheep do. 

To really tug at their heart strings they had a song. 

I can tell the way you're feelin mom ... a million miles away. I know that I've been on your mind. And in your thoughts today. So pray for me, the way you do. Quote, the 37th Psalm. I'll do the same in his great name... And you have courage mom.   

Written and sung by Merle Haggard. 

It turned out that the special program they got Schumann from was really prison, he had raped a nun. Pretty fucked in the head Hoffman tried to explain it was because of Albania obviously.

They couldn't really go public with him but after a series of unfortunate events Schumann was killed by a hick with a shotgun.  

Bringing Schumann home was described as a tease. It would happen just after the election. Like a voting pact. Elect me and you'll get Sgt Schumann the next day. They got him back but as a dead war hero.
Nothing makes civvies more proud than dead soldiers ... they love em. Thank you for your service and hey lets use homeless vets as a pawn to avoid bringing in refugees. Civvies are big with the military talk.

The movie had some 303 soldiers and a flag draped casket. A parody of the Green Beret song was played.    

We're gathered here. With a cross to bear. The bravest men ... Anywhere. That this great land ... Will remain free. God bless the men ... Of the 3-0-3. Side by side. We know no fear. Our minds are sharp. Our eyes are clear.  In the air, on land ...  Or on the sea.  We're the fightin men ... of the 3-0-3.

Written by Huey Lewis.

Your prize for getting this far

Old Knudsen understand spin and how difficult it has become in separating fact from fiction. Wag the Dog is a mind altering must see film that is funny because it's true. The public has been and is being manipulated. Like how I was told that Syria was a pile of rubble but someone who has just seen those bomb pictures when in reality there is plenty of Syria that still needs to be bombed. 

People used to think that we in Belfast during the Troubles were dodging bombs and IRA snipers everyday ... it wasn't everyday. 

Perception is all which is why Trump is failing with the optics. Those golfing pics and gold covered walls of Mar a Lago will be his down fall. Like how Old Knudsen knows that after you've read this post the biggest take away from it will be how the fuck can he suck his own dick and does he swallow? ... does it make him ghey?    



Tuesday, 11 April 2017

The Chicken Was The Racist

The world is crazy, you have the over politically correct people spoiling everything by taking offense on behalf of minorities and you have the speak their mind people who rebel against political correctness but end up looking like racist assholes in the process.

Old Knudsen just wants to tell a joke without offending those people ... you know who I mean. You can't body shame a fat person unless it's Trump or something. This shows you that everyone has their line in the sand and their own set of double standards.

Double standards are quite complex. Kirk and Bones tried to explain to Spock that you can admire someone but not agree with what they did. Khan was a genocidal maniac but hey he made the space trains run on time.

Whitewashing doesn't just mean to paint yer fence white or to cover up crimes. It also means movie and TV roles that were originally ethnic going white people.

We just had the whole Danny Rand Iron fist should have been made Asian crap. Yes, decades of having a white blue eyed dude doing martial arts so lets make him Asian .... then you'd have the oh that's a stereotype that all Asians know martial arts ARGHHHHH!!!!!!

Danny Rand is from a wealthy white family, you could go with adoption but why? You want diversity? he teams up with black dude Luke Cage in the comics and soon in the Marvel TV show The Defenders.

The hot and very badass Jessica Henwick is in Iron Fist, certainly not as a token Asian. Due to Rand being white like he always has been the PC critics savaged the show on the first ep. Old Knudsen has watched season one and it is fucken awesome, way better than Dare Devil.

  I don't want to hurt you but if you push me I will fuck you up

Kung Fu had the similar issues as Iron Fist had but in the 70's. A half Chinese character played by a white guy. That show did give steady employment to Asian actors at a time when not many did.  

John Wayne as Genghis Khan and Mickey Rooney as Mr Yunioshi in Breakfast At Tiffany’s. Hollywood has had a history of acceptable, casual racism.

Dances with wolves had Native American actors rather than a white dude in brown face. Kevin Costner isn't the greatest of actors but did no one think to give the Injuns a few lessons? I like Graham Greene but he has the acting range of a John Wayne or Clint Eastwood ... not extensive. 

Hollywood just jumps the shark when it comes to casting now. Emma Stone a half-Chinese, half-Hawaiian ... in what universe? Instead of being Asian, Tilda Swinton in Dr Strange became an ancient baldy Celt. While Swinton sounds like an upper class English person her family tree does have ancient Scots roots so close enough.  

The Martian got rid of its Asian characters but it had one black dude so that is ok. If anyone is important enough to risk it all and save from Mars it's Matt fucken Damon. All those movies like Star Wars and Star Trek had a few tokens but zero Hispanics .... where is their outrage? It wasn't until the Battlestar Galactica reboot that we had wet backs in space.  Ay caramba, shields down to 40%. 

Marvel did make Heimdall black, cos there were tons of black Norsemen. Seriously? Nick Fury was also made black. 
Spider man was rumored to be Hispanic but was played by a white English actor with the last name Holland so what the fuck? Marisa Tomei who is of Italian descent plays his aunt. Tom Holland has also worked putting the voice to the Studio Ghibli movie Arriety ... aye you don't complain that yer Jap cartoons are white washed cos they are put into English. 

Scarlett Johansson is annoying people by being in the live action version of the cartoon anime Ghost in the Shell. I would watch Scarlett Johansson taking a dump on a hobo so what is the big deal? Didn't she just have all this crap with her movie Lucy? 

Hey I'm still trying to get my head around Black Widow being played by a Jew ... Just Kidding, I love "those" people ... wouldn't lend them money though ... cos I'm tight fisted, why else would you think?   

Romney was almost as ethnic as Obama, nice try.

Even politicians aren't above putting on orange or brown face to get the votes. Do people go on about cultural appropriation before pretending to be Irish for St Patrick's day? Like I said they have their own double standards. I look on in amusement at yon plastic paddies.

We've all read about black actors struggling to get parts, they still go on about it though Denzil, Morgan Freeman, Samuel L Jackson, Angela Bassett, Halle Berry and Will Smith don't seem to have any problems, I doubt they even audition anymore.

Now you get Asian actors voicing this problem. There used to be a lot of white men on TV, but then as attitudes changed you got females and ethnic people and now you even have the gays, things that were mostly unheard of 40 years ago.

In TV the gays would be flaming but it would all be innuendo and no talk about cock sucking at all. The US had the first TV shows with black leads. Things are changing somewhat, probably not as fast as people want it or maybe too fast for some. A black lead in Star Wars the force awakens ... outrageous!
Um no, that lead was a young chick though Harrison Ford got top billing. Like Black Widow the Rey merchandise was almost nonexistent at first.

Anime is full of round eyed white people that are supposed to be Asian anyways so all this white guilt crap can fuck off. Japanese and Korean people are trying to look western with surgery or make up to look like Sailor Moon or some such shite. The whole K-Pop thing is very unhealthy, get stuck into that cos that's way more messed up that what Hollywood does.

Plot twist, Hollywood and TV channels are businesses, you can take a risk on a new comer or you can play it safe and pick an established name. A big name actor who can't act is better than a non-famous actor who can't act but hey, they can kick high so lets hire them.

There was a lack of ethnic actors in Buffy the vampire slayer but with great acting and writing you can forgive it cos it's empowering to weemen and all that.  

Anime has its niche market, making Power Rangers, Transformers or whatever white friendly and western makes it appeal to a wider audience and that is what it's about. There are different markets around the world and what appeals to one might not appeal to another.

If only Bruce and Brandon Lee had lived longer huh. They could have speeded up the diversity for Asians in film. What happens is meant to happen. 

Bigger crowds than Trump

Martin Luther King Jr's death put a halt to the civil rights moment as planned. You can have Jesse Jackson but he isn't no Martin Luther King Jr. As with Bruce Lee a stand in or pale intimation is fucken useless. That person, at that time or it just doesn't work.   

This is why so many reboots and remakes are shite. Trying to recapture the magic of the original or to make America great again is like trying to catch a fart.  

There still has a ways to go for real change but I don't want movie makers fucking up long standing characters in the name of diversity. I am so sick of the 'make Dr Who black or a female' .... how about making it decent again? That show cannot be saved by diversity, it needs good writing.

OMG they made Bond blonde I refuse to watch it

New Bond? ... like I give a fuck. I had hopes they'd make Daniel Craig more like Jason Bourne after seeing the amazing Casino Royale but after 3 shite films packed full of tired cliches they spoiled it.

Politically incorrect jokes can be funny. CK Lewis did a SNL monologue with why did the chicken cross the road? ... because there was a black guy behind it. He went on to explain that it was the chicken who was racist and the black guy was merely on his way home.

Another black guy ended up eating the chicken but that isn't racist to say that, the chicken was the racist. Old Knudsen laughs at Irish jokes so whatever. I'll fight anyone who says the Irish are drunken brawlers ... in fact I'll cut the fuckers with one of my many beer bottles ... potato anyone? 

Some assholes need to lighten up but would anal bleach not be as messed up as trying to make your eyes round?