Thursday 7 September 2006

If I haven't slagged you off yet, be patient, I'll get around to you.


Old Knudsen gets to thinking, who the fuck can he piss off today, well I hate those people that use science to explain everything and hope that by using big words with more than 4 letters they will confuse and confound Old Knudsen, just because you rich bastards didn't have to start working aged 12, who do you think crawled up the chimneys to clean them?

Scientists, when those fuckers aren't trying to recruit you into their religion they are all,"oh if you do that you'll tear a hole in the fabric of the space time continuum" or some sort of crap, ozone layer, what a load of bollocks, I've never seen it, oh let me guess you want money to do a study on it, that last study you did on why penguins fall over when a plane goes over head was great, expensive but great.

My old favourites, Nasa, they have invented so much good stuff that has enriched our lives and saved our lives, one thing Old Knudsen wants to know is, why did it take a load of Geeks in the Government funded Space Program to come up with this? cos they are all lazy buggers that's why, too busy getting published, try blogging eggheads, before Old Knudsen had a Blog he did this thing called letter writing, I mean a Blog sounds like a shit with blood in it, they should rename it click next shite, cos that's what you get.(unless you get me)

Ok now thanks to Nasa we can use cordless power tools, I mean duh! it took working in space for someone to come up with that one, I bet you have astronauts out in space going, "fucking drill, you can only get 15 minutes before the battery dies, useless fucker, I want one with a lead that has actual power and won't die on me".
Kidney Dialysis, who is the most famous person on dialysis?, yep Osama Bin Laden, way to go Nasa, if medicine keeps unnaturally prolonging the lives of people I'll never get my Clint Eastwood movies, as for cat scanners, who needs to see how fast their kitty is going?, do Astronauts have fry ups in space? that sounds a bit dangerous, no need to invent Teflon, just never wash your pan and it becomes naturally non-stick, I bet no Brainbox with 10 PHDs could of come up with that, as for Velcro, strippers of the world are eternally grateful, have spacemen turned into chav scum who don't know how to tie their laces or tell the time on a clock with hands? it makes Old Knudsen sick to think they spend millions to send alsorts of shit into space and don't put thought on how to live in the various environments on Earth, yeah we get the shitty stuff like the Interweb and cell phones, wheres my robot maid with the pumping lips or my flying car? they also claim to have a heat/chill system for serving Hospital food, well I never noticed that the last time I was in hospital, I was too busy complaining about the shitty food.
They give you shit food, wake you up every hour to take your blood pressure and check your pee or to hoover your room and expect you to get better, and where are the over worked nurses?you have to walk about attached to your pole with your arse hanging out to find one, its all a conspiracy to weed out the population, why else would they close so many hospitals down? just like America most of their people don't have healthcare, you know they flooded New Orleans on purpose just to get rid of all the Africans , yeah it all makes sense now, just wait until Birmingham blows up or something, Britain is importing all of the trash culture from America, in 20 years we'll be obediently cutting off our children's foreskins for hospitals to sell and not teaching our kids geography and History.
Yes Old Knudsen did go off track, if you haven't already clicked next Blog my faithless readers then I will wrap it up, college don't mean shit when you're in a Glasgow bar with a glass in yer face tell them your silly Darwin Idea, all the Nasa boys are doing is making us targets for the Aliens just follow the trail of pollution to the planet of aggressive meat.
The educated have a big impact on our lives but until you get rid of the greed of money it will do more harm than good, the rich get richer, and more out of touch and still run our countries and decide on how to use overeducated people to benefit (or not) mankind, its all hit and miss, oh my poor working class morally righteous brain hurts, I must go and lie down.

5 comments:

Anonymous said...

So much for a great idea. Teflon kills!

Maybe they'd be better off inventing something useful, like no-need-to-wash knickers?

Old Knudsen said...

I have those already, have you tried turning them inside out?

Anonymous said...

It goes front on first then front to back then inside out then front to back and then back to front. They're 4 day underwear in one go.

Old Knudsen said...

I stand as a student before the master.

Old Knudsen said...

Oh I thought you said you would do anything.