Sunday 14 January 2007

Do Not Feed The Aussie.

A typical Australian couple having a pash before lockup"I'll miss ya Sheila", "I'll miss ya Bruce". .

I love Australians as much as the next guy, though I am glad they are on their own big island thing in the middle of the sea, they can be too crude and rough sometimes for my tender sensibilities . Now they are putting themselves in cages for reality show purposes, ah it has cum full circle, we put them into cages and shipped them out there and not a word of thanks . Now they are doing it to themselves, maybe they feel more at home behind bars, it feels natural or something like propping up bars, its all bar related, see the connection?

Adelaide zoo who has had the biggest and most successful human/ape breeding program in all of Australia has found itself with a shortage of primates as they have all moved away and gotten jobs in politics.

Not one for ethnic slurs as that just shows ignorance, but this monkey gurl looks like shes from Greek extraction, the face that could launch a thousand shrimps onto barbies, luckily Australian men are born with beer goggles on. No offense to any monkey convicts reading this, if it wasn't for yous we wouldn't have Neighbours or Home and away ............................................. bastards.

For over a month, humans will be locked in an unused Orang-utan cage ,with the searing heat , snacking on bananas and Foster's lager. They will be monitored by a psychologist who hopes to use the findings to improve conditions for real apes in captivity or to get more visitors, whatever works .

Audiences can vote for their favorite "ape" via mobile phone text messages, in the style of reality television shows, and at the end of the month, a "super human" will be selected to represent the zoo, this super human will then be allowed the honour of spending the rest of their life in a cage having little children yelling at them all day and ending up on the Interweb when one of their cage mates takes them from behind in a comical way.

A Zoo visitor.
"They're completely mad, but seriously look at them, they almost show intelligence. They look like us sometimes, its spooky".

"They're completely mad", said that one visitor to the exhibit, the humans, who are allowed home at night, played up to the crowds and checked each other for imaginary lice, knowing the Aussies there were some not so imaginary lice too.

This person doesn't know mad, rocking away in a corner like a real zoo orang-utan and then knocking their heads against the wall, that's mad, they don't get to go home, have a shag and cum in the next day with a hangover.

"It's not as exciting as the animals actually, they're not really doing very much," another onlooker said.
Yeah cos the real animals do so much, you twat!, why are these morons not in the cages, everytime I've been to a zoo the animals hide and rightly so, if you can see the animal then their enclosure is inadequate.

Participants wear microphones in front of Web cams to allow watchers to hear the action in what has been billed as "Big Brother behind bars". Dr. Carla Litchfield, who is conducting the experiment, has laid down firm rules for the new apes: no nudity, no rude behavior and no jumping into the enclosure spa.

What? they aren't naked? Big brother behind bars does sound like a good reality show but not the way they do it, put the contestants into prison and vote on who will be gang raped in the showers.

What is this trying to achieve ? does it not liven things up when yappy kids and old grannies get hit by flying feces? well it does when I do it in the local Spar.

I'm not for zoos, I would rather not live than live in a cage and as these creatures are wild I figure they must feel the same, a tired old elephant that's lost it's dignity years ago is not entertainment, you can say about breeding and extinction all you like, if it was my species I'd rather die out.

The original Planet of the Apes film put the humans to shame by showing how the apes, aped them in relation to captivity and general lack of respect for other animals.
Then you have those people would cry at lassie but not give a second thought to a real news story about a baby found in a bin.

Put them all into cages just like the CIA do and see if they like that reality. Am I the only one that roots for the Great white shark when some mong puts themselves into a cage and into the sea to witness the majesty of these magnificent beasts? watch jaws, that's as close as I want to get.

13 comments:

GG said...

ha, back at old bitter balls for some more aussie bashing. bring it on.

i've dated some blokes that would have been perfect for the experiment.

dive said...

You're right about the bars, Old K.
Just about all the bar staff in London are Aussies; they must love being behind 'em so much.

That Helena Bonham Carter's really let herself go, hasn't she?

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

She has Dive, still frighteningly recognisable though.
The show sounds a barrel of laffs and i look forward to it once Celeb BB is finished. Are you watching that, Old K?

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Old K you've disappeared on us. What've you been up to today; brewing bitter and playing ball?

Old Knudsen said...

gaijin gurl The lack of Aussie culture appeals to me, drink, god save the Queen and talk in a silly way, fair dink um.

dive Bryan Brown in cocktail, I see what you mean.

lynn I can feel myself getting dumber as I watch reality shows, then I feel disgusted at myself for being a Pleb, its Sunday, a day of worship ya heathen God is like me, always watching his shite meter.

sky Clearbrook has she and tim burton had a child yet? for surely that will look like a chimp.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

I have to agree, Old K, except sometimes i really need that dumbing down feeling, it's so mindless and relaxing (plus of course the real reason that it's a social experiment, psychological exploration of the human condition, blah blah)

Eddie Waring said...

I couldn't agree more with your comment about ethnic slurs showing ignorance but couldn't help noticing that the Adelaide zoo cleverly avoided inclusion in the exhibit any black members of staff. I'm sure they will be rewarded for their sensitivity by a discrimination lawsuit. It also strikes me that if they looking for some kind of "superhuman" then wouldn't it have made sense to leave two orangutans, one male one female, in the enclosure with them as an experiment in breeding. A hybrid orangohuman would definately serve us well in any future wars that might be fought in a jungle. Frankly, I'm disappointed in the Aussies lack of enterprise and I will be emailing them to tell them so.

Old Knudsen said...

lynn massage and a swally are relaxing, reality shows are upsetting and scare me about humanities future.

Mr Waring you'll find no ethnic slurs on this blog, I believe the Aussies killed all the johnny blackfellas, even the ones from Bowie videos and Crocodile dundee films,an orangohuman sounds like a Northern Ireland Prod, get enough of them with half bricks and invade any sandsavage country you want and you'll get the job done, or at least a standstill in traffic, they are half ape to be sure.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

ok then Old K but i'm feeling a bit of an innocent now and you'll have to educate me, Uncle K; what;s a swally?

Ame said...

Yeah Uncle Knuddie...what IS a swally? Related to a bodily function? ;)

Old Knudsen said...

Oh you people, I have an excellelent brit slang dictionary in my sidebar as the Yanks were getting all confused, a swally is having an Alcoholic drink or two/three, the Queen uses it all the time in her speeches, "my husband and I were having a swally and lighting our farts", remember now?

Sassy Sundry said...

I heard tell about this story. Put people behind bars for thirty days, and they might see some feces being tossed about.

I don't like zoos, either. I went to the Philadelphia Zoo as a girl. I saw this little monkey, and he pawed at the glass, trying to get loose. I tried to break down the glass, and everyone told me it was OK. It wasn't. I haven't been back to a zoo since.

Fat Sparrow said...

"Yeah cos the real animals do so much, you twat"

They're just upset that the people aren't flinging feces and having wanks ("Check out the blonde!").