Saturday 27 January 2007

I Aim To Please.

I aim where I please.

We here at Old Bitter Balls like to fulfill the requests of our readers (as long as its no trouble) and one such request was to see my nipples, in sympathy with Filthy Friday that goes on at The Infomaniac yes I know its Saturday but it all makes sense to me here is a picture of my nips as taken in the old lion photo shoot I did when I joined The Doors, there were 127 of these taken and I've had to set up my own Blog to show them as no one else would leak them on the Interweb.
I've been Blogging for 6 months now man and boy and I've realised you can't just meet a fellow like myself and not be afflicted er sorry I mean effected, I've always had a certain something no not the clap, men want to be me and weemen want to do me, on occasion its been the other way round but I don't mind so much.
That shifty fellow Dive with the Spice rack even made up a word to describe my style.
'Knudsenesque ' , I want to go one step further and impregnate the world and how we live it, this shows the effect I've had on others.

You know you've been Knudsened when:

1) you call out my name during a sexual climax. this is according to confessions from Kav, Kieran, Footeater, Gaijin Gurl, Eddie Waring, ame and Lynn. Dive calls out his own name.

2) you get aroused when you see anyone wearing a flat cap.

3) you notice that you start spelling it 'weemen'.

4) you get fired for staring at a picture of a naked guy in a cap at work all day.

5) you ask yerself What Would Old Knudsen Do?

6) you have given up on Oil of Olay and Ponds in favour of bathing in the blood of runaways and snorting lines of stem cells in order to look young.

7) your language and grammar has gotten worse even though you teach English and have 10 PHD's .

8) you slip historical facts and hidden meaning into posts and write about Northern Ireland to annoy people.

9) you claim things are in the bible and actually believe it.

10) you come here for up to the minute news.

18 comments:

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

lol i've been Knudsened. On counts of 5, 7 and 10. There are a couple of other grey areas but i don't want to talk about it any more.

Vic said...

Stunning. I am now completely prepared for bed, Old K.
Haven't been Knudsened yet, however I suspect that it's a foul affliction that grows over a long period of time.

Eddie Waring said...

Mrs.Waring has warned me twice about the calling out of your name upon climax. I keep trying to imagine pics like the one above to stave off the inevitable for a few minutes more, or I imagine I am sniffing the inside of your cap. This is why I shout out your name. It's usually followed by "...ya cunt."

The Mistress said...

Getting moist.

Feeling guilty.

Hoping my lover isn't reading this.

*notes that pic is conveniently wallet-sized*

dive said...

Cripes!
Eight and a half out of ten.

And the bonus of a yummy new photo for my bedside table.

Ame said...

Waaaaaaaaaaaaaah...But Knuddie? Why did you only give me little a? Thought I was worth more? =(

GG said...

so there i am... getting myself off and screaming out for old knudsen.

it is said that every person will reach a pinnacle in their life. that must surely be mine.

and now it's all downhill.

tony said...

Ive started using "Gurl" in my blog posts!
You are a fine figure of a man.....have you ever thought of doing a Jane Fonda-type workout video?i imagine you in LYCRA® ............

CrankyProf said...

I always get the urge to dip my allegorical, metaphorical balls into a pint of Old Bitter...

Fresh Hell said...

That is one fine figure of a feller, Old Knudsen. I'm taking that image to bed with me tonight.

Taihae said...

guilty - 1, 3, 5, 7, 9, and 10. You're a snake in the grass and no mistake. My friend is very understanding about the things I scream in bed, which range from "oh, knudsie!" to "holy moly, batman!" as far as "whoops, here comes mr. Jelly!" I encourage you all to live with your disability and find someone so understanding.

Old Knudsen said...

lynn excellent, dumb yerself doon abit more and we can mate.

vic I'm like the fungus between yer toes, you hate it but you love to scratch it.

Mr waring yer missus complains all the time about yer angry sex, she likes it gentle mate.

MJ how can it be so wrong when it feels so right?

dive remember Dive, grouchy is sexy, now fuck off.

ame worth more? who told ya that? you'll get what you're given and be thankful, you'll beg for
more and will you get more? no.

gaijin gurl I still have to reach mine. I'm sure you've got a few good years left in you:::pats on shoulder::::

tony instead of all this BTW and OMG etc, I spell the way I speak and think the rest of the world should follow suit, Lycra? have you been the one leaving me those strange e-mails? get some help lad.

crankyprof I'm sure you have more balls than most men dip away.

fresh hell for a hefty deposit I can put you onto my 'must shag' list.

Old Knudsen said...

Taihae, I knew the asylum would let you out now and again. Remember I do all these things and its never stopped me from getting no where in life.

Ame said...

PRAT!

Old Knudsen said...

SCAT!

Fresh Hell said...

Though one of my life's ambitions, is to be counted on your 'must shag' list, I fear that the deposit might be too rich for my blood. A girl can dream...

Old Knudsen said...

I have a payment plan.

Fresh Hell said...

How accomodating!