Thursday 8 February 2007

At Least She Died Thin.


Anna Nicole Smith, Playboy centerfold, bride of an old geezer oil tycoon and reality-show hoor, died Thursday after collapsing at a hotel. She was 39.
She was staying at the staying at the Seminole Hard Rock Hotel and Casino the cause of her death in other words what drugs were involved are not yet known.

Just five months ago, her 20 year-old son Daniel, died suddenly in the Bahamas in what was believed to be a drug-related death, she also has a 5 month old daughter probably the child of her lawyer turned husband Howard K Stern.
In 1994, while performing as a stripper she married one of her regulars a 89-year-old oil tycoon J. Howard Marshall II, owner of Great Northern Oil Co. In 1992, Forbes magazine estimated his wealth at $550 million. Marshall died in 1995 surprise surprise though he had a smile on his face and they had some stiff opposition when they tried to close the coffin lid.
She had achieved some fame as a playboy centre fold but then became a big fat meaty wagon who appeared to be drunk, high or extremely stupid or all three and had her own reality show. Having gotten sick of being a figure of ridicule she lost 69 pounds allegedly with the help of a diet drug called Trim spa and instead of being a big fat stupid slut she became a shapely stupid slut, nothing sexy about this gurl in my book. This death is a surprise but I don't think I shall grieve too much.

In honour of Anna Nicole Smith's contribution to the advancement of weeman's rights
and world culture in general, here are some blonde jokes.

Q: How do you make a blonde's eyes light up?
A: Shine a flashlight in their ear.

Q: What happens when a blonde gets Alzheimer's disease?
A: Her IQ goes up!

Q: What do you do when a blonde throes a hand grenade at you?
A: Pull the pin and throw it back.

Q: What do you get when you offer a blonde a penny for her thoughts?
A: Change

Q: What do you call a fly buzzing inside a blonde's head?
A: A Space Invader.

Q: What did the blonde say when she knocked over the priceless Ming vase?
A: "It's OK Daddy, I'm not hurt."

14 comments:

Old Knudsen said...

give me a jolly good seeing to?

Ame said...

'Scuse me while I see to the seeing-to...ya see? Is jolly good better than rip-roaring?

dive said...

This came on the news at five this morning and I though "Who the fuck is that"?
Having seen a photo, however, I knew just where to come for the full story; the world's only celebrity-obsessed Scotsman.

So thanks for letting me know who she is/was …

Now I know that, what do I know?

Old Knudsen said...

as I've said before, you know fuck all thats what you know. She was a nobody but i made fun of her so she served her purpose.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Well i for one think it's sad. I didn't know her from Adam, but. You're going to say i'm sappy Old K, but she obviously had a hard time after losing her son. YOu should all rap yerselves on the knuckles.

Scout said...

I agree with Lynn to the extent that it's sad, but what I think is sad is the wasted life. The woman had the personal character of a hyena (spell?), and no one is surprised here. What does surprise me is that even CNN is making such a huge deal like we've lost some kind of national icon. I just wish I could get that voice out of my head that keeps shouting "Trim Spa baby."

The Mistress said...

You'd be throwing yourself on the coffin if this was Shirley.

Sassy Sundry said...

I do feel very sorry for her. It's not her fault she had what men were looking for and not a lot of brains. She got taken advantage of, even if she did wind up inheriting gazillions.

My friend observed that Trim-spa sales are going to tank.

Scout said...

Yeah, I guess I don't feel sorry for her because she was hardly a victim--she made her own choices and could have made better ones. I was thinking the same thing about Trim-Spa, especially if it turns out the banned substance in it destroyed her heart.

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

I agree with Robyn. The media is making her out to be some kind of hero. Never does the media focus on the real people doing real things that may benefit others.

I think Paris Hilton will be next and then Brittney. Not a wish ,just speculation. How long can you live a lifestyle of doing nothing.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Let's hope not, Rich. I abhor the lifestyles of course so agree with you all, but still it's sad. Taking the decision to do drugs and all that waste of life is stupid beyond imagining, but once in, it must be hard to get out of it and it's at that time that i feel sorry. What a waste, yes. I always think, though, in these cases, she was someone's gorgeous little innocent girl once, expecting to live a long, full and happy life. Why shouldn't she have done?

Old Knudsen said...

She won't be missed, its a pity she had to breed before she died.

Pickled Olives said...

nice tribute. I bet she would love it.

Foot Eater said...

You bagpipe-splitting fried-Mars-Bar-hiding King Cnut. My wife is blonde, and Anna Nicole Smith was Playboy's centerfold in the month I first arrived back here in Britain. What all this means, I've no idea, but I suspect it signifies a breakthrough in the war against the Boche.