Thursday 1 February 2007

Good King Billy Had A 10 Foot Willy.

Big Ian preaching brimstone and hell

The Reverend Ian Paisley the great Ulster protestant leader and God's representative on earth and Martin Mc Guinness the ex IRA leader and now a politician will share power (in theory) and govern Northern Ireland with the aim to bring peace to that troubled land.
Big Ian or alien Paisley as he is known will be the boss and Mc Guinness or murdering terrorist scumbag as he is known will be his deputy, but with Ian being 80 has anyone given thought to who will take over when he carks it? I suspect a clever Sinn Fein ploy to gain power, though 'clever Sinn Fein ploy' would be an oxymoron.
Here is some dialog that may occur on their first day at work.

Ian: "Mc Guinness!"

Martin: "Wa do ya want cunty balls?"

Ian: "tea! two sugars and four jaffa cakes because they are orange"

Martin: "you're not the boss of me ya old cunt and this celtic tiger ate yer jaffas"

Ian: "for fuck sake and damn yer black soul, get me some Ginger nuts because they are sort of orange "

Martin: " If I was ever to get you tea I'd serve you a Viscount biscuit as it is wrapped in green foil"

Ian: "if you were ever to get me tea I would refuse it until you are prepared to serve me orange snacks, I say NO!"

Martin: "I say you're senile so suck my Fenian cock".


The world of Norn Iron politics, doesn't make the Yanks look ridiculous and so uncivilised?


Mc Guinness looking staunchly defiant and bitter.


Whats the difference between an orange and an apple?

You can't get an Apple bastard.

7 comments:

Foot Eater said...

McGuinness looks like he's got an earring in his left ear there. Always knew the bastard liked taking it up the old Cadbury corridor.

The Mistress said...

Ian: Give me a kumquat enema!

Jagd Kunst said...

This many posts in such a short ammount of time suggests to me an element of lacking-in-self-confidence. You really gotta listen to more music.

Old Knudsen said...

Mr Eater you know what they say about those terrorists, the bigger the bomb the smaller the......... I don't know the amount of fingers they have?

MJ the thing about big Ian is that hes a giver as well as a taker, the mans a god.

jadg Kunst maybe, is that what you think? will people like me more if I listen to more music?

Ame said...

About the only thing I got outta this piece OBB is the word Yank...and over here, it's a verb!

Old Knudsen said...

Its one of those posts that I really only do for myself, the main reason for being a bitter balls, so if I said "Yanks suck" it doesn't mean what I think it means.

Ame said...

Well then I guess if I'm a "Yankee" OBB, then you would be a "Yankor"...those suffixes are the only two that go together right? ;)