Friday 9 February 2007

Patronizing Fucker

The people at Yahoo are pretending that they love me by putting this Chris Evans bastard alike on my Yahoo mail so here he is to annoy you.

I was at a shop yesterday, this place is a popular chain thats quite easy to shop lift from so I won't mention it's name. They sicken me because as soon as they get rid of the Halloween stuff they then put out the Christmas stuff the day after.
So just after New years they put out the Valentine stuff, you know the kind of things, the ever so romantic boxers with hearts on them and the little bears holding hearts that dance to 'you're the one that I want' a ton of chocolates to add a ton of weight on to yer gurl and the usual fake roses.
I don't give a shit about Valentines day, I refuse to be told by society when to be romantic as I am a romantic fucker all the year round for half the price, if you buy stuff at valentines you aren't romantic, you're a fucking stupid brainless sheep thats been neglecting yer loved one all year .
You have to admire the optimism of this shop as they put a display of condoms and KY jellies right beside all the fuzzy red hearts. They also had a tonic that gives 5 hours of energy, who the hell shags for 5 hours? you could help me build a garden shed out the back in that time.

7 comments:

Old Knudsen said...

I suspect you'll get a lot of pity e-mail valentine cards now, mine won't be out of pity oxox.

Pickled Olives said...

Just my two cents; I would rather shag for 5 hours than build a shed.

The Mistress said...

Build me a shed I can shag in.

Old Knudsen said...

If the shed is rocking then you haven't built it well.

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

If you don't get that shed built ya won't be getting any Booty.

Ya have to work for ya prize Old man.

Lee said...

Sting shags for 5+ hours. That tastes like burning.

Foot Eater said...

I manage five hours most mornings, unless I have to get to work early because my secretary's gagging for it.

Could we have some more pics of Gobbling Granny, please? I need to update my desktop wallpaper.