Wednesday 21 February 2007

Walk Like An Egyptian.


"The sands of Saqqara reveal lots of secrets," said Egypt's antiquities expert, Zahi Hawass, he showed reporters around a 4,000-year-old tomb of mud bricks that belonged to a scribe of divine records, Ka-Hay, (not Ka-Chow!) and his wife.
"It doesn't look great because it was built from mud brick and not built of limestone, but I really believe that this tomb is very important," said Hawass.
Of course its important its got Egypt on the news again which is all you live for Hawass. Have you ever seen this fellow? everytime a camera crew turns up in Egypt to get a shot of a mummified turd from Ramses the Regular they have to get permission from Hawass and he says, "how much film time will you give me?" a middle eastern gentleman with an Indiana Jones style hat (what else would you wear?) and everything uncovered is vastly important to understanding history.
If there is a special on the History channel he'll be on it in fact the man even won a Emmy for a documentary he did, not bad for a secretary-general of the Supreme Council of Antiquities and Director of Excavations at Giza, Saqqara and the Bahariya Oasis which is what his over inflated job description is.
he has his own web site and fan club, I'm waiting for him to bring out "Hawass the fragrance, smell like an Egyptian" or his own clothing line.
The guy has qualifications and awards up the yang and I'm sure one has to be 'Media hoor of the year' the man is worse than a Blogger .

He just found a necropolis that was dedicated to a Dentist, the last dentist I had only had my bite marks on his hand as a dedication from me, those needles they stick into yer gums, sore as fuck and do nothing I can't imagine what they had back then that was better .
Egyptians are boring as fuck, building pyramids in the desert with little access to the shops, wearing shirts and bad liz Taylor eye makeup,the Royals shagging their own family to ensure a pure bloodline, well that parts ok as the Windsors have been at it for centuries, remember World War I was just a big family argument .
The ancient Egyptians also put to death children with blue eyes as part of their superstitions. I wonder if that's like the old Scottish fear of blondes as they may be Vikings and those randy Vikings did make it to Egypt , even discovered America, a fellow called Knudsen as I remember.

At the start of this year Hawass flew to Florida to have treatment for an eye condition called macular holes, his third world Doctors who were stoned all the way through medical school in the Bahamas saw Nip/Tuck and thought it was better to send him to the States for treatment and a happy ending.
It is thought that the ailment occurred when a stone fell on Dr. Hawass' head during a recent excavation, his sense of smell has increased, he craves the taste of varnish, in my opinion Spar Urethane clear semi-gloss can stand up to any stinking Chardonnay.
Dr Hawass also feels permanently horny and has had to be manhandled away from the murals he was trying to give money shots too though this may have saved his marriage.

Held together with tape and Hawass jizz, he must really love his job.

His The King Tut Exhibit will be in Philadelphia through to the 30th September 2007, Dr Hawass has made great improvement so is not expected to be adding to the collection with his own personal touches.



I don't care what rehab problems Brittany is going through, she has shaved off the lice on her head and doon below and isn't making music, everyone is a winner, except the lice.

Maybe the King Tut/death camp look has cum back into style.

17 comments:

Momentary Madness said...

I reckon he's got the curse
Kundsen: " I'm waiting for him to bring out "Hawass the fragrance, smell like an Egyptian" or his own clothing line". Yes indeed and him Kwasses walking like an egyptian arm in amr with the Bangles singing: All the old paintings on the tombs
"They do the sand dance dont you know
If they move too quick (oh whey oh)
Theyre falling down like a domino"

The Mistress said...

I am a simple Canuck who is overwhelmed by the amount of information I receive from Knudsen on a daily basis.

I need a light diversion after all this educational material…Write like an Egyptian.

Momentary Madness said...

I 2nd. that canuk (whatever that means) the man's a machine / a tank

dive said...

Once again I am humbled by the Master and forced to genefluct unworthily in your general direction (it's okay, I've got some tissues to clear it up).
There I go posting photos of mummies with a crap mummy joke and I come over here to find the complete and utter history of Egypt.
AND Britney Spears.
You are the Blog God. No messing.

SamD said...

First Budapest and now Hawass...eerie.

Sassy Sundry said...

Knudsen, I wish you had been my professor. And you even threw in some pop culture to make it relevant for today's youth. Thank you.

Anonymous said...

Sorry Sassy. My ranting wasn't intended towards you in any way.

Lee said...

Hawass is the Deepak Chopra of the Pyramids. He is the Paris Hilton of Egyptology.

Poor Brittney.

The Mistress said...

And furthermore, I have become addicted to this blog.

Is there a 12 step program to get over Knudsen?

Foot Eater said...

Can't think of anything clever to add to the post, so I'll just point out that OLD KNUDSEN is an acronym for Old Lady's Damp Knickers Nestle Under Dirty Senior's Evil Nose.

Old Knudsen said...

paddy a canuk is a dirty canadian, not as bad as a Yank but not as good as an Aussie, I really should do a chart or something.

dive genefluct, when I look that word up you're in trouble.

samd eerie? as in lake eerie? I don't have a clue really.

sassy sundry I would have given you As and STDs for extra credit.

dear prudence comments like that makes me want to do a BS special.

lee good comparison, he makes Egyptology into pop culture.

MJ I offer programs over a period of a weekend in my cabin up on Ben Nevis, after that you'll be sick of me, more like disgusted with yerself for going.

Mr Eater footeater
fat orifice oiled to excite all the end rangers

Sassy Sundry said...

No worries, Prudence. She is a skank.

Anonymous said...

Me Base an' Vile Brabbler, I have a question o' Yer Mightiness. Hawass wants everyone t'return everythin' ever taken out o'Egypt. Iffin this be th'precedent, does everyone have to return everythin' that was ever snatched from another country ever in th'whole history o' th'world?

I bow t'ye Greatness. BTW, I don't do this for everyone. It hurts me knees.

Pickled Olives said...

Anything to help a marriage and stop Britney singing is a good thing. I never felt sorry for lice until I read this. hmmm.

Old Knudsen said...

cap'n dyke to the victors go the spoils, you don't give a gold medal for losing. Then how can you define rightful ownership? the ancient Egyptians are long dead,a totally different people, its like apologising for slavery 300 years later, no slaves leave alive and none of that original government left. Why return it to country of origin either? interesting question for a first comment, welcome.

fat sparrow he was not a hot young gurl so I neglected to look at his arse .

pickled olives they only suffered while on britney, they've gone to a better place.

SamD said...

"eerie" because that same ex of mine was into Hawass right after the sewer kids. Did a photoessay or article or something.

Of course you didn't have a clue; I apologize for free-associating like that.

Old Knudsen said...

That would be called BLOGJINX!