Monday 5 March 2007

Lemurs Up Against The Locker.

Will I get thanked for not showing his knob? I doubt it, if you really want to see it then just click on the unsmiley face to reveal his manhood in all it's glory.

My last post was written while in the throws of some kind of fever. I think I may have a touch of The Nile sickness as for many years I have lived in denial so excuse me if Blogging has lost some if it's appeal and I'm not haunting the comments or yer Blogs at the moment. I have decided to not call myself Irish, British or even Scottish as the ish on the end implies that I'm not sure what I am and fuck it if I'm going to let the bloody Romans name me. I am now an Earthy, above all yer petty differences and squabbles, a citizen of the world, of course if the fucking Slavs cum round here causing trouble I'll sort them out, I'm enlightened I'm not ghey, no offense to any of my Poo pirate readers.
I was out in the garden today, for this time of year it was quite mild and sunny that's because my town of Killamory by the sea gets the Trans Atlantic whiff from the Gulf of Mexico. On a still night I can just sit out in my garden and over all the gases being released from the shallow graves there I can smell salsa and dog tacos being carried on the warm winds to my hairy nostrils.
I also imagine I can hear the sounds of shots being fired from either a lively party or drug deal gone wrong, then again Ireland is pretty close and the whiff goes past there, you've read the Blogs, not a nice place it seems unless you're a chav. It was a lot nicer before that St Patrick fella did a number of it and had all the Druids killed, lovely scenery though, not big on the old road signs.

I take this to be some kind of Irish greeting for hello going by the Swearing Lady's Blog. Me not being as Irish as some thought the Finn Gael was a giant that built the Giant's Causeway.

I may just have to take it easy and not post as much, yes I've threatened that before but like Kieran before me I've been questioning the worth of Blogs as people cum and go its like an unsatisfying job with a high turnover rate. I have to catch up on me History Channel and I've always been meaning to read The Pickwick Papers, only kidding who in their right mind would want to read voluntarily Dickens or Dickend as I call him?

To remind you all about the single most deadliest threat to mankind (weemen included) since cell phones and bad education here are the LEMURS, only a fool wouldn't tremble.


If only I had listened to Old Knudsen but no I thought I knew better what a fool am I. Those little lemurs just looked so cute.

Why are they so angry?

My fellow bloggers the Lemur threat is indeed a real one how many of you have had a bad personal relationship with a Lemur that went sour and left you thinking that your own self worth wasn't much and its all yer fault ? or you wait all day for a workman to turn up and fix yer TV but he doesn't then he turns up the next day and makes you apologise for not being ready and acts like you're lucky he turned up at all, and you know why don't you? because hes a Lemur.
Or nobody knows where yer johnny has gone but Judy left the same time and you know why don't you? because Johnny was a dirty dicked Lemur.
Watch out for the hybrid Lemurs that look like humans but give themselves away by being a cunt.
A cult of weemen have become baby factories for Lemurs, its the eyes, they're hypnotic.

You cannot resist the power of the Lemur, mate with me.

Around my local area I know of two deaths caused by Lemur, always the weak and the elderly, found dead after a week with their face chewed off and their little lap dog half starved shaking under the table. Lemurs have no respect for anyone, they let their offspring play on yer garden and rush to get in front of you as you go to line up at the cashier in the grocery shop, they are the ones that have the bad chest cough but never cover their mouths. Never mind Hitler having Jewish blood he was related to a Lemur.

3 foot long weighing in at 80 lbs with razor sharp teeth and claws with a craving for human blood.

You may chose to ignore this threat but if movies have taught me anything its you are always the first to go, the weakest links and the less adaptable, "look theres no mad slasher in the closet, I'll even turn my back and take off my tight sweater in a tease for the trailer seconds before I get killed".


You fucking pussy, ever wonder why there are no lions on Madagascar ?

I was watching the news about how Ghana is celebrating 50 years being independent from Great Britain. Their biggest exports being gold and timber but unlike all the other African cuntries they don't have their heads up their holes and do at least try to educate their poor people as they know both gold and timber won't last forever, of course being me I did chuckle in the fact they don't have running water in a lot of their cuntry and go around carrying buckets on their heads, celebrate that you unappreciative fools.
If you clicked on the top picture I just want you to know you should be ashamed of yerselves, ya sick bastards, not you MJ you can't help it.

25 comments:

Eddie Waring said...

I live in a largely Mexican neighbourhood. The smell of dog tacos is constant. You hang out the washing and you can smell them on it for days. Makes you hungry...

SQT said...

Thank you for not showing that man in all his "glory." I couldn't go to sleep with that image in my brain.

No, I still haven't clicked on it.

Momentary Madness said...

Whatever about anything else it's true that St Patrick fucked it all up but if it wasn't him it would have been Michael, Thomas. Anyway I have a pet snake corn snake I plan to breed then in their thousands and release them back in the emerald shore. What sirt of a fucking ejit would want to wipe out a whole snakes species. I think thet're beautiful creatures.

Momentary Madness said...

PS: I had to go back and click it Fuck and hell (I'll bet his wife is happy every night) It's Manolito” from the “High Chaparral.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Ok yes i clicked it. Eeeuuuwww. Make sure your breakfast's firmly down first.

ellie said...

I was lured out of the gloom and made my first post here because of the naked picture of Harry Potter .... of course I was going to click it!!!!!!!!!!

Ame said...

Mmmmmmmmmm...I clicked it and I licked it! Hey, isn't that a seatbelt campaign slogan in the States? ;)

Sassy Sundry said...

Oh, god. I really should know better than to check your blog first thing in the morning. At least you posted a smiley face.

Cheltenhamdailyphoto said...

Euuuwwww Ame. Just when i thought this couldn't get worse.

FirstNations said...

gosh i like it here!
click? check
lemurs? dangerous carriers of pestilence and inferior genetic material, dog rapers and cat humpers all.
dog tacos? yum!

Dick Headley said...

That's the nastiest case of wanker's wrist I've seen.

Momentary Madness said...

kind of Irish greeting No That's Sinéad O'Connor pointing....hey, look I've got hair.

Foot Eater said...

Is that top picture that Daniel Radcliffe bloke off Harry Potter? Someone said you'd posted a nude picture of him.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

I clicked, but it's OK - I once took a zoology class and now I'm not troubled by nature even in its most revolting forms. I can take anything you can throw at me. Even the nematode worm in the picture above.

Spilling Ink said...

I didn't click it, but Paddy's comment has me curious. Hmmm... What to do...

Pickled Olives said...

Thank you for not showing the nob. And I'll jump on the F-lemurs bandwagon today. But I reserve the right to jump off anytime!

Old Knudsen said...

Freddy Mercury, ah those furry cunts he was the Champion my friend.

Spilling Ink said...

Ha! I clicked it! My browser protected me from my bad judgement. The unsmiley face won't go away. There is a God.

Old Knudsen said...

just my wee joke ya pervert. I can't do computery things like that.

Spilling Ink said...

That is a very funny joke, Knudsen. You made me laugh :-)

tony said...

Yea i did click (but only cos u told me to!)
i hate to bring this up ,what with all your LEMURS-related concerns.but i typed your blog address into
this site & your banned in China!
my blog on the other hand isnt yet..........any message you would like me to pass on to our Chinese Cousins?

Anonymous said...

Thank you for not showing his knob, Old Knudsen.

I'm not even vaguely curious.

Kisses to you!

Bock the Robber said...

Aha! I was wondering why my hordes of Chinese followers had suddenly stopped replying.

M@ said...

I think that lemur is as hungover as I am.

Old Knudsen said...

I've had a lot of strange hits from china but yes Tony, "let the petitioners be heard" that is what I have to say.