The Friday Slag Off

Travolta has really let himself go.

I've never been too impressed with that John Travolta fella, ugly as fuck and has the acting abilities of my 4th wife faking her orgasms which is pretty crap. Now he makes geezer movies with Tim Allen, I hear its a sort of Deliverance but on motorcycles. Anyway the fat fucker can put away more pasta and chicken than Steven Seagull the famous pony tailed bad acting martial arts guy which is a lot, look at him now he looks like a big fat woman, maybe he should cut doon on the Grease if he wants to be Stayin alive, ok that last one really didn't work .

He flies his own passenger jets even though hes not allowed to park on his own home's landing strip at the moment due to the state of it but the thing I could never understand is how can those big metal planes stay up in the air as they go by so slowly? I think the only reason they crash is that the pilot has a moment of clarity and says, " how the fuck are we stayin up in the air? I don't believe in this voodoo magic anymore" and crashes.
If I flew planes and I was a big fat fuck of a Scientologist I'd hit the Slim Fast so it wouldn't crash nose first with the weight of my big belly and over sized face.

Before anyone says it, no he wasn't good in Pulp Fiction, that film sucked arse juice the only good thing that saved it was Bruce Willis and the bum sex rape scene, none of that contrived dialogue about burgers or the dopey music thats supposed to be cool but really its lame, are you really going to take cool lessons from Tarrentino as he sits in his shell suit and gushes over American Idol contestants ?
Samuel L Jackson, controlled, loud and angry, in every fucking role .

Nicolas Cage, the amount of crap you're making at the moment tells me that you're trying to make yer money before people start to notice how you haven't aged well and you have to start actually acting.
Acting yer age, Harrison Ford, you're 64 and definitely no Old Knudsen I suspect on the 4th Indiana Jones film they'll be hiring more stunt men, whats the title of the movie, Indiana Jones and the quest for senior discount ? I hear that the only bag you'll be wearing will be a colostomy bag . They killed off Kirk by making him fall off a bridge in which he broke his hip, Picard was too intimidated by him to let him live, that fucking French pussy , so Indi stay away from any icy paths and Frenchmen with English accents.
Edward Norton is going to be the next Hulk, I'm surprised anyone would do a sequel to such a shite first film, as for Norton, well done on picking yet another great role whats yer secret? do ya pick them drunk? out of a hat? or do ya not give a fuck anymore?

For those who want ta know who I like, well little Matt Damon can do no wrong (I blame Clooney and Pitt for Ocean's 12) with the next Bourne film cuming out soon 'The Bourne Absolutely' he is taking over from that crappy Bond franchise well done lad, he doesn't forget his friends either, Ben Affleck is in this new one billed as "tall thug" he gets killed in the first 15 minutes and isn't given lines as they don't want him to spoil it.

I wonder if he lets just anyone stand and watch him workout, er I mean lifting weights is just so ghey.