Thursday 5 April 2007

New Memeber? No I Just Washed IT.

If you get freaked out just think of it like keeping fish in an aquarium. Second from the left wearing the nipple clamps is Artie, hes a director for Oxfam, his machine is the Glisen 2000 mk 7, a lovely model, hes even let me try it out the odd time what a gent.

I get lots of e-mails from various people from all walks of life and a common thread they share is wondering what I do on the average Thursday afternoon.

Thankyou all for asking. After a few hours as a life coach at the Well being clinic I head off to a gentleman's club, no don't go thinking its some kind of sick strip joint its not. Its a club of Extraordinary Gentlemen all with a shared interest, penis enlargement.



Wipe doon equipment after use, sometimes you'll get the odd case of crabs but this poor fellow caught bees instead.

If you go round the interweb you'll notice that everyman claims to be better hung than Dick Turpin (a famous highway man for you yanks that was hanged) no one says how their willy is the size of a tiny birthday cake candle, well Bock said that once in one of his posts and I have respected his honesty every since.


I of course have a giant penis that could satisfy a Plough horse, MJ will testify to that but there is always room for improvement, the Americans always say bigger is better as they put away 8 Quarter pounders with cheese and a large diet coke.




And this is the real reason why the world hates America. This is Chip from the US chapter of our club, hes one of the younger members. My American dream is to be as big and as conceited as a Yank.


Don't judge because we aren't interested in the footie or stamp collecting, we are interested in our Dongs, its perfectly normal. Weemen are allowed in as guests under certain conditions, strange but we don't get many visitors.

19 comments:

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Speechless.

Old Knudsen said...

Just spit it out lass.

tony said...

That Explains It! I used to know a lass who,everytime I took my trousers off, said ......"Beehive Yourself......"

Old Knudsen said...

I usually just get laughing so I buzz off.

ellie said...

If Chip is that big, why isn't his tan line under his armpit? I think you have been had Knudsen!

The Mistress said...

I'm sending you a t-shirt that says, "I Choked MJ."

And when you say "everyman claims to be better hung than Dick Turpin," the 'everyman' you're referring to is Kav, isn't it?

Fresh Hell said...

Everyone knows that size doesn't matter... if and only if you are in love, and lets face it, no one falls in love without some exploration in this day and age... So thank your lucky stars that you've allied yourself with these fellers and thier growth contraptions.

The Hangar Queen said...

Oh I think he's been had alright Ellie.Many,many times.

On the subject of mad contraptions Knudsen I thought you today when a colleague tried to get me to go halfers on a Sterling smg with a silencer.(seriously)

Anonymous said...

O T T....O....P! You've lost it or will. Get back to sanity. Their taking it over - you know who I mean.

MommyHeadache said...

What the hell are those fishbowl like contraptions on those men's knobs?

fofufou said...

Has Chip had to resort to self love? If I were a lady, or even a man, one glimpse of such a wang would lead me to picture my perineum tearing like crepe paper.

Anonymous said...

So put that in a bowl and smoke it!
I've met Chip, he is a nice boy with a nice toy!

Foot Eater said...

I take a break from blogging for nearly a week and come back to pictures and text like this? I think I'm going to be sick. Get a grip on yourself, man.

Old Knudsen said...

ellie Chip wouldn't lie to me its a brotherhood thing.

MJ yes I'm sick of hear about his giant knob he should post it and get it over with.

fresh hell I see it as personal growth and not just willy growth.

Ms Queen sharing a SMG? sounds abit too kinky for me.

emmak well it just doesn't pull the lad but the bag of marbles too, not for the beginner.

yer Lordship chip has caused many a complex and horse to faint.

dear prudence I just knew you'd have use for chip.

Mr Eater you were gone somewhere? what do you mean get a grip? you want a wanking post?

ellie said...

Wanking post? Dear God, the mind boggles!!!! Is it like a staging post for wankers?

FirstNations said...

Who does this? How is this fun? Who calls up all their friends and says 'Hey! Lets all get together tonight and, you know, just sit around with vacuum pumps on our dicks for awhile?"
besides mj, i mean.

Fat Sparrow said...

Oh my God, the guy in the chair on the right is my dead neighbor, Morris.

I always knew there was something odd about him. I just could never put a penis enlarger on it.

SQT said...

First Nations said what I was thinking. How do people like this get together? Can you imagine the conversations...so, have you ever wondered about penis enlargement?

Old Knudsen said...

If you're in an orgy and you see some bloke has drawn the short straw or you notice him at the urinal of course you'll say something if only just to brag.