Tuesday 22 May 2007

The Birthday Boy.


Listen up niggas today is my birthday so I'm gonna celebrate cos its my birthday. No I'm not going to tell you how old I am, you fuckers are just so rude some times. It all makes sense now doesn't it? I'm a Gemini, that means I'm a great communicator but also I'm not playing with a full deck but to balance this out I have Cancer rising which has been in remission for 8 years now.

I don't expect presents or drinks getting bought for me though that would be nice as I sit here typing all alone on this special day. I do expect you cunts to comment and wish me well or something like that so c'mon ya bastards I might not be here next year and then you'd be sorry.

Let me feel the love and maybe yer tits if ya have em.

50 comments:

Momentary Madness said...

Certainly Old Knudsen I love you man. There will always be a place in my heart for you.
Sincerely Yours: Paddy

Annie said...

Happy birthday Knudsen. I was going to link to you as a birthday pressie but my grandmother reads my blogroll and you are too rude for her elderly eyes.

ellie said...

Birthstone = Emerald (your mother planned that)

You share your birthday with
Naomi Campbell, 1970
Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, 1859
Sir Lawrence Olivier, 1907
(note the 2 sirs in that list Sir Knudsen?)

On this day

1998
Northern Ireland votes 'Yes' to a new peace agreement designed to end 30 years of violence between Protestants and Catholics.
1990
The unification of North and South Yemen into one country.
1981
In Britain, murderer Peter Sutcliffe - nicknamed the Yorkshire Ripper - is found guilty of killing 13 women and the attempted murder of 7 others. He is sentenced to a minimum of 30 years in jail.
1979
Canadian Prime Minister Pierre Trudeau is voted out of office after 11 years, when his Liberal Party is defeated in a General election by the Progressive Conservative Party.
1977
The Orient Express, the Paris to Istanbul train service, arrives in Istanbul for the last time.
1972
American President Richard Nixon and Soviet President Leonid Brezhnev meet in Moscow to discuss an arms limitation treaty. The first time a US President has set foot in Russia.
1972
Ceylon becomes the Republic of Sri Lanka within the British Commonwealth.
1939
German Fuhrer Adolf Hitler and Italian Fascist leader Benito Mussolini sign a 'Pact of Steel' to support each other in the event of war.
1915
Britain's worst train disaster - 227 killed when a troop train hits a passenger train at Gretna Green in Scotland.
1908
The Wright brothers patented their flying machine.
1897
Official opening of the Blackwall Tunnel under the River Thames in London.
1840
Britain ends the practice of sending convicts to the penal colony of Australia.
1455
In England, the first major battle of the War of the Roses. The Lancastrians defeat the Yorkists at the Battle of St Albans.

Happy Birthday Bitter One!

Mike said...

Happy birthday Knudson.

Vicus Scurra said...

What's this astrology shit?
May the joy you receive on your birthday be in direct proportion to the love you have spread over the internet these twelve months.

The Little Cheese said...

Big respec' on your bday from a fellow genius but crazed mo-fo-ing Gemini, innit.

savannah said...

happy birthday, you old dirty bastid! ya know i love ya, sugar!

Flirty Something said...

I'd give you a big birthday hug but you'd only feel me up and then die of a heart attack, so will settle for just wishing you a happy birthday.

Unknown said...

You cunting bastid, enjoy your bidet.

Sassy Sundry said...

Happy Birthday to my favorite dirty old man. I'd say you could feel me up, but, well, you don't live around here. So I can say, "I'd let you feel me up..." with impunity.

Enjoy your day.

Gorilla Bananas said...

Best wishes Mr Knudsen - give my regards to the working girl who'll be giving you a free one on your birthday.

Scout said...

Happy Birthday, Knudsen!! Hey, I'm a Gemini, too. Our similarities are never ending.

Little Miss Manuel said...

Happy birthday Old boy. I'll get the kids to paint you a picture! Cake and fizzy pop all round

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday Old Nudsen!!!!!

Fresh Hell said...

I once read in an astrology book that focussed on the sexuality of each sign that the adolescent gemini girl is utterly wicked with a dildo. But said nothing for the gemini boys. Anything you'd like to add in defense of your gender?

Happy Birthday Homeboy! [big not-so-sloppy kiss]

The Mistress said...

Had you given us advance notice of your birthday, I would have removed my teeth and given you a good gumming.

Happy birthday and many more, you crazy old hornivore.

GG said...

Omg, I knew we were star-crossed buffoons! I have Gemini rising, my moon is in Capricorn, and I'm Leo... erm ...
Anyhoo, many happy returns to you, old chum. I'd buy you a pint o' the water of life if we were in the same city.
Bless you on this special day.

GG said...

Btw, it goes without saying that my tits are up for grabs.

Old Knudsen said...

The fake sincerity is overwhelming I have been given a new tie to hold my trousers up and a round the world flight to as many cuntries as I want so those who have offered their tities (including Dive) get them ready. I'm off to Killamory's famed Opium den/brothel for some poppy soup.

Stay strong you rat lickers and remember, if I end this day sober then the terrorists have won.

Megan McGurk said...

Happy birthday, Old Knudsen.
I'm afraid you're right that your site is not feminist friendly.
Cheers and enjoy the day.

BEAST said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY OLD KNUDY.
you can squeeze my man boobs if you buy me a bag of chips

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

Many happy returns of the day, Old Knudders. And by that I don't mean vomiting.

Have a great day now, ya hear? That's a direct order, man! Stand up, look lively and start your terrific day, dammit!! Hup two three four - look lively, man - hup two three...

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Happy Birthday you crazy SOB!
If I was there, I'd buy us a round or twenty and we'd cut a rug, well, till my bunion starts hurting.

Anonymous said...

The idea of a baby-Knudsen is frightening. How could that happen? Knudsen, a product of com-passion, tenderness and love? Is that thinkable - yes! But is it believable? I doubt.
Or does he originate in divine spheres? God's gift to mankind, as he states in a seldom moment of modesty?
It's futile to speculate of his origin - he simply is, like any other natural force of your imagination, constipation included.
Knudsen is still with us and will stay around for a long while.

Many happy returns, will your Haggis-bucket always be full!

D. C. Warmington said...

Many happy returns, or miserable ones if you think it makes better copy. Long may you spread sunshine in Blogland.

Old Knudsen said...

paddy yer love scares me.

annie its the thought that counts.

ellie george best is today too.God bless the drunks.

mike cheers mate.

Mr Scurra how dare you wish that on me you witch.

the little cheese gemini weemen have mean streak, I'll be watching you.

savannah wanna spoon?

dive you've always been too easy.

kav I'm not doing a post on midget gangbangs involving great danes like claire Danes thats all yers.

AZ the male and female gemini are a little different but the weemen are the worse of course.

Ms Flirty now i feel the urge to hug you just to find out.

conan drumm cunning as a fox, a crazy fox.

Mr Bananas you'll see her when its yer turn, I'd advise a rubber.

robyn sometimes we post the exact same things, its scary.

miss manuel the picture had better be good or I'll tell them straight.

Ms Pool I'm in a good mood I'll let you off with desecrating my name.

fresh hell I too am wicked with a dildo, yer time will cum.

MJ yeah like those are yer real teeth, just pop them in a glass and get on with it, c'mon I'm not getting any younger.

gaijin gurl yer star sign means we are sexually compatible , boy did you hit the jackpot.

medbh feminists are ok but the man hater ones aren't, my ghey,black,jewish,chav,commie,English and BDSM readers have no problem, maybe you need a shoulder rub love.

See what I did there? if that makes you angry then you really need to work on finding that happy place.

Mr Beast salt and vinegar?

sam problem-child-bride as I type this my fingers are missing keys due to excess of drink and i had a great dump, things are looking good, though I'll never get over the cutty sark.

babsbitchin is cutting a rug the same as munching on one? if so expect me over.

mago A feminist doesn't like me but a Bavarian does its a crazy world. does a drunken shag count as tenderness or compassion? It has been said I am descended from Prometheus my gift is to fire and inspire.

Old Knudsen said...

Mr Warmington I like to think I make the Blogosphere safer for families and educate the dumb, its a calling, like alcohol, that's a calling me now.

Anonymous said...

Happy Birthday, OBB!

Here's something to share the birthday sentiment:)

Here's hoping you get a lovely slice of PIE for your birthday:)

Megan McGurk said...

Now, now Old Knudsen I never said I didn't like you. Don't be cranky on your birthday.
I don't know any feminists who hate men, by the way.
That's a myth.

Old Knudsen said...

its you maven I hope the pie you mean is cake or are you being pervy?

medbhwhats there not to like? I'm a puppy doggie. I've met the man haters, the only ones they like are the non threatening men, those are the ones who have suffered rape and abuse but have trouble working through it, understandable but bloody annoying when they treat you like cack no matter what you say. I knew a woman who was raped and spent the rest of her life making every man she met feel responsible for what other males had done to her and condemning the whole male species.

Sassy Sundry said...

Why do I seem to recall your birthday being in November?

Manuel said...

Happy birthday Old bollocks. Do I have to say this too? Does LMM's not count for me too like on our Christmas cards or when she phones her ma and says "manuel says hi" when i said nothing of the sort.

savannah said...

come on, baby..i am soooo ready for you ;)





*uh, where do you live again?*

DirtyBitchSociety said...

Cutting a rug is dancing but we can dine together. No shame in my game and what's good for the goose is good for the gander and all that shit. Now look, just for your Birthday, I am linking you as an "Honorary Dirty Bastard." But you knew you owned my heart long ago. Happy Birthday baby!

Bohemian in Korea said...

A toast to OBB
"Here's to the Ass, the Glass and the Lass. May they meet in all kinds of weather. May he drink from the Glass, be the Ass and give the Lass much pleasure."


Cheers

Anonymous said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
Damn, what do you give to the guy who has everything? Considering I've already given you gratuitous breasts and revealing anymore may well get me kicked off blogger.:)
Have a good one gorgeous, you know we all love you xoxox

Anonymous said...

Jolly Natal Day, Me Cunnin' Linguist! O'course ye canna touch a lesbian Pirate Queen's tits, but I'll go fetch a willin' Galley Wench for ye...

Spilling Ink said...

Happy Birthday, Knudsen, my secret love :-)

The Mistress said...

I want to suck all the helium out of your balloons.

Old Knudsen said...

Ah fuck i had witty repiles to all but they vanished, I am so pished now I thank you all for yer kind words I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my witty readers, thank you all for showing am interest and those lurkers that cum out, thankyou it means alot , letbyerself be known. I like to know who you are.

Anonymous said...

Thank you for the daily dose of balls!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!you make my day everyday!!!!!!!!!!may you have many many more............

tony said...

HAPPY BIRTHDAY KNUDSKI!
i told the bloke at the Chinese Chippy in Mytholmroyd.He does fortune telling while you wait for your #69.He did you a "reading" ..........the gas bill will arrive Saturday morning (why do bills always arrive on Saturdays?).
He said Mars was inline with Uranus which suggests "A new phase & much joy..."
but,then again,his Chow Mein gave me the trots all night.So, what does he know?

COLE said...

Happy Birthday....uh...belated Knudson! Really I haven't quite been 'round..too busy celbratin' me own reminiscence of the day I was born..for..uh..3 weeks now. Shit, I don't think the alcohol has left the veins yet.

Adjil said...

Happy Birthday my friend. Another trip around the sun. Maybe ole James Doohan could use a ride? I'm sure he would tell you getting older is better than the alternative. Well, maybe not.

I hope you're recovering from your pishness.

Anonymous said...

Happy B-day Old K. To many more months of your witty bloggings! Hope you didn't hurt yourself too badly!

Neponset River Bridge Dig said...

Happy belated birthday you old geezer!!!

Eyebee said...

You look like SUCH a miserable old bugger. So I hope it was a real old bugger of a birthday for ya.

Whatever ya do, don't smile! Ya face might crack, dude!

It's still a cool site, man.

Anonymous said...

Don't tell Matt Animal Mind that you know beans about astrology. He's liable to call you a flake and try to make out with you.

Happy belated birthday, my dear.

Anonymous said...

I missed the birthday. Fek! Next year. I'll get ya next year.

kimba said...

I'll slip in here and pretend I didn't forget..

Happy birthweek old k.. xx kimba
(come down under and cop a feel)