Sunday 20 May 2007

Land Of The Free For 4 Easy Payments Of $29.99.

Matthew McConaughey in Reign of Fire, a kick ass film, for fucks sake look how big his chopper is.
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I think that people who say that they don't watch much or any TV sound a bit too smug for my liking, suggesting that they are special because they don't know who anyone one is in the world of celebrity, especially when they are on the computer all the time instead. Anyway I don't watch much TV as its mostly shite but I do spend hours on the computer and like to watch films.
If I'm depressed I'll watch any old shite on the idiot box and loathe myself afterwards for what I have become the usual, but even in a suicidal gloom with my shotgun in my mouth I still refuse to watch reality shows about dancing and singing, how fucking ghey can you get?

America is probably the most hated country in the world right? yes even Iran and North Korea are nicer.The media has not helped this with their little snipes at the Yanks and its just not on.

Two animated movies,'The Rescuers' and 'Finding Nemo' make derogatory comments about the Yanks, both pitting Australian characters against the land of humping apple pie and Uncle Sam who is not really yer uncle and we won't tell yer da when he gets out of prison.

Then there is Reign of Fire, a story set in the near future when the world is ruled by vicious Dragons. A Buff Christian Bale and his Scottish side kick Gerard Butler (Murdarrrrr! the 300) watch as a tank rolls towards them with a crazed Matthew McConaughey sitting on top looking like a muscular penis with tribal tattoos , it wasn't established what tribe he belonged to.

Gerard Butler mumbles to Bale, "Theres only one thing worse than dragons...........Americans."





"In Texas everything is bigger even the Dragons, we use their claws as butt plugs cos we are tough hombres cum to save yer ass again."

Who will save our arses from the Yanks I ask? its tough being cute.

23 comments:

ellie said...

Smug am I ? Eh?

Momentary Madness said...

Well it is time we put the Yanks out of the top position. We did, think they were great 40 years ago, but the proof is in the pudding...if there are 40/50 million americans living on the poverty line we've got to wake up and ask how is this possible. What about the trickle down effect?
You can't hail a country who has been and is still most powerful in the world when you know in your heart and soul you wouldn't want to live there and be poor.
It's going to take more than a new type Rambo to restored them (like he did after Vietnam) after Iraq.
They're a bad example pure and simple. Just like the Rissians and the Chinese were to communism.
Let us have Knudsenism for the way forward.
Y;-) Paddy

Frobisher said...

well, Americans as baddies? Usually Hollywood portrays the English as the bad guys (Braveheart, Rob Roy, Die Hard, etc.) - whereas we all know the English spread civilisation, justice and fair play throughout the world.

Sassy Sundry said...

You know, I went to see that movie precisely for the two lovely actors. That they looked like shit was a huge disappointment.

Flirty Something said...

very.bad.look. don't care how big his chopper is.

Unknown said...

I'll tell you why Knuddy, old pal. Dat fillum was made in Oirland by Oirish fenian feckers of the kind you most admire, er despise. I'm sure those nordern aid guys were very disappointed with this antiAmerican twaddle from the auld sod.

Anonymous said...

Fear not, the Yanks will prevail to save the day!!!!! Or we will make another movie in which we do.

Megan McGurk said...

Our solution to this dilemma was to move to Canada.
Everyone likes Canadians.

FirstNations said...

you have to work very very hard indeed at being truly poor in america, the land of the instantly disposable. heed me well or i will arrive in my millions on your shores and BURY YOU ALL IN USED DVD PLAYERS

The Mistress said...

Medbh is so right. We Canucks are the chosen ones.

SQT said...

It's true, the poor in America aren't really poor. Welfare pays well enough to feed them to obesity and they can still get cable. It's true, I've seen people who do nothing but collect welfare who don't spend any time on the streets or go without food.

Sam, Problem-Child-Bride said...

"a tank rolls towards them with a crazed Matthew McConaughey sitting on top looking like a muscular penis with tribal tattoos"

Why does this sentence stir feelings of desire in me, I wonder? I think it's because it contains the words "Matthew McConaughy," "muscular," and "tribal" in an arrangement that is pleasing to me. I like "penis" too. mind.

Anonymous said...

"fighting dragons with a plastic sword ..."

The Little Cheese said...

The reason America is GREAT is Matthew McConaughey. Look at the great hairy hunk of manliness! You can't beat him, even if you would like to...

Captain Smack said...

"Who will save our arses from the Yanks I ask?"

Well, it sure as hell won't be Canada. If I was a betting man, I'd put my money on China.

M@ said...

Not so fast, my friend.

Our boys here in the Pentagon are working hard to deny China access to important minerals on the moon--and then we'll have achieved total space superiority, rather than mere supremacy.

I'm just sayin'!

M@ said...

Oops, I got that backwards....

Total Spectrum Dominance. Those are indeed some scary concepts.

Eddie Waring said...

SQT said...

It's true, the poor in America aren't really poor. Welfare pays well enough to feed them to obesity and they can still get cable. It's true, I've seen people who do nothing but collect welfare who don't spend any time on the streets or go without food.

I really hope you are being fucken sarcastic here. Yeah, some people sponge off welfare and do well by it but you just made an idiotic generalisation. I have seen with my own eyes extreme poverty here in the good old USA. I have been inside transient hotels on LA's Skid Row. I have been inside trailers in the shittiest trailer parks in the San Fernando Valley. I have been inside filthy one room apartments with shared bathrooms in the Pico/Union district. There are "unofficial" trailer park towns on privately owned property out in the desert with no sewage systems or even much law and order. Yeah, they are mostly immigrants but I'm an immigrant too. I'm just lucky to have been better educated than they are and have been able to make things work.
Up in Roseville, over 86% white and with a median income close to twice that of Los Angeles, I don't expect you see much of this but take it from me, the real America is not quite as fortunate and they probably don't show much of it on Fox News.

I'm tired and cranky, not my usual self.

The Little Cheese said...

I am going for President dammit! Vote for me and I'll let you bomb any country you want!

SQT said...

Eddie

I do know what you're talking about. I used to teach in an area that had a super high immigrant population. I never saw anything quite as bad as what you mention, but I saw a lot of tenement style living. None of thre one's who really lived poorly live on welfare though, either becasue of their legal status or because they were too proud. Unfortunately, most of the one's who actually live on the streets here are the mentally ill. There's no way to force them to get treatment and no real place for them to go if they won't.

Old Knudsen said...

the little cheese I don't have a vote but I can rig yer election like I did in 2000, fuck Holland is in for a surprise.

SQT I've been thinking about American poor being fat and have cum to the conclusion the government should offer health foods and gym memberships and cut healthcare in half.

SQT said...

I've been thinking about American poor being fat and have cum to the conclusion the government should offer health foods and gym memberships and cut healthcare in half.

Not a bad idea. But then you'd have a bunch of civil rights attorneys all up in arms about our right to be fat and unhealthy.

Old Knudsen said...

did i ever tell you about my stool softener pills?