Thursday 24 May 2007

Never Trust A Primate.

Just look at the tits on that monkey, is she horny for it or what?

I've been meaning to write about the time when I worked for NASAL that's the National Aeronautics and Space Administration League. In 1968 I was launched in Spastic one for deep space travel, we slept in regeneration pods for the numerous years of space travel.

The last thing I remember was having a boner thinking about Ann-Margret and then we were awoken automatically by the ship's computer. Lieutenant Hot pants died in storage and all I was left with was Landon and Dodge, a Jew and a nigger but in the 60's we were more enlightened and had that free love thing going on so I tolerated the fuckers.

We walked for what seemed like minutes before we were captured, not by human but by grotesque gorilla type creatures on horse back with knee high boots and whips, kinky but bad.

We were taken with other humans who wore furs and couldn't speak to a town made out of adobe and put into cells, a couple of the primitives must of thought themselves catholic as they started smearing shit on the walls. I don't know, you cum millions of light years and still get Catholics, they fucking well breed like flies .

I asked for a lawyer which got their attention they looked me up and doon and seeing I was superior they put me into a cell with a hot primitive gurl. I hurled abuse and feces at them and asked,"do you want me to mate with her you filthy animals?" they nodded so *2 minutes* later there was a satisfied cave gurl and a less anxious Knudsen.

I was taken to Van Galen the main Chimpanzee doctor, his bleached blonde hair and leopard skin tights didn't do much for his professionalism.
They were amazed at my ability to talk and reason as they mainly had only Yank astronauts so far, they lobotomised Landon and Dodge which was no great loss and not much difference to their performance.

Dr Sayes came in, a dirty big Orangutan who liked to climb up onto you. His erect Orangutan penis stuck well out but no one seemed to mind, it was his way. He humped my side as he asked me about my Space ship, he got his happy ending just as we splashed doon and then he rolled over and fell asleep, fucking apes all the same never a cuddle.

I had had enough. I busted out and ran for it, some Gorillas grabbed me and I yelled, "get yer filthy black paws off me" they protested, "listen dude we're Apes of colour, be colour blind man", with that I grabbed the nearest hottest cave gurl and a horse and legged it.

We rode for hours, then we got onto the horse and rode for hours. Along the beach we came upon the half sunken statue of Liberty that obsolete figure of freedom. I shouted at the Gods with my fists raised "damn you all to hell, its a mad hoose" then I rode around the bluff and found a Tim Haliburton station there. I gave them the gurl for shampoo experiments and they got me back home so no probs.

The thing I've regretted after all those years was that I never got to ride one of the Chimpanzee weemen, now that would have been interesting, the closest I've gotten has been greek woman.


*yes we did do it twice*

8 comments:

Anonymous said...

Right, that's it! This is total war, Young Knudsen. Attack us primates would ya? Prepare to feel our wrath. Whatever the fek that is.

Old Knudsen said...

Take yer wrath and float out to sea on it.

Old Knudsen said...

Hump the fish stained sea hoor knudsen.

Old Knudsen said...

Mr Bananas I thought dingos ate babies, you know cave gurl every night sometimes you like a bit of monkey love, well you don't cos you and Tarzan are exclusive and all.

Ned you promised # 28 was the last one, you can't make me, see ya tonight mate.

Anonymous said...

Nice picture of your filthy readers.

Momentary Madness said...

At your beatial best Knudsen. Ride on, Hi Yo silver away!
Roast beef is better.
Y;-) Paddy

Sassy Sundry said...

No probs, perhaps... but what about the probEs?

Old Knudsen said...

mago you could of least shaved for the pic.

paddy we couldn't afford roast beef very offend, you posh git.

sassy I've experimented during long sea voyages but no its not for me.