What a goofy looking twat, happy or terrified ? hard to tell though he does have more range of emotion than Charles Bronsan ever did.
One of the funniest things I've seen this year was Professor Stephen Hawking floating about in the vomit comet. A Boeing 727 that dives allowing 25 second bursts of weightlessness he had 4 minutes zero G in total.
The Professor suffers from a motor neuron disease and it would be wrong if I mocked the great man who has over cum all to become one of the greatest thinkers of our time, I said it would be wrong I didn't say it would stop me, besides whats he going to do beat me up?
The man is paralysed and in a wheelchair and talks through a Metal Mickey (Robbie the robot for yank cultural references) device that is funny as fuck to hear.
I was sitting doon at the social security office waiting room, one of my cheques hadn't cum in and to be honest I was shitting bricks in case they had found the body of the true claimant. Sitting opposite was a child with an electronic spelling game, his mum was on the phone talking about her holiday she'd be taking soon, those fuckers on unemployment benefit are fucking millionaires it makes me sick.
Well this boy must have been a bit of a tard as he kept hitting the game to spell out new words fast and repeatedly, on and on. I noticed the voice was very similar to a certain professor so then I listened to the words it was spelling out , spit,lap,sick,hit,rat,big,lick,sad,cut,stub,slot,bun,rot,jug and fellatio, well ok maybe not the last one. These are all words used in common Blogging vocabulary only the most skillful use them as innuendo.
My theory, Stephen Hawking has been dead for years now and no one has noticed, the nanites that help him speak have taken over his brain the man is now part dead part computer, his trip on the vomit comet helped him transmit orders to electronic devices like a satellite all over the world . Rather than take over humanity by force they get into our psyche and kill the human imagination and power of basic reasoning (I notice this in others all the time) so the next generation of people will be bloggers who can only use 4 letter fucking words to get their fucking point across all the while there is the rise of the machines and before you know it we're all talking like Metal fucking Mickey . Its a fucking scary thing.
I was called in to a cubical and sitting across the desk from me was a Dalek , it pointed its plunger right at me, its toilet must have been bunged up as shit was still dripping from it then in a Stephen Hawking voice it said "exterminate exterminate" I blinked and shook my head and the Dalek was gone, sitting there was a petite large breasted gurl with red hair, it was the hair that set off my hallucination, fuck the yanks and the use of Agent Orange in Nam, I was there in 68 worse holiday ever.
17 comments:
Thanks paddy, no idea why the comments were off on this one, ah well I've opened the flood gates let the comments just gush right in.........yep anytime now.
Pretty soon I'm sure.
What about Hawking's wife then? I bet you'd give her one if she was drunk.
This time I wasn't on the wrong post even though I was: now that's real Paddy's speak and talking of speaking and singing; you can hear S. Hawking sing / speaking these very words below (you would recognise his voice box anywhere) on "Keep Talking" Pink Floyd The album/CD "The Division Bell" for anyone who's interested that is, it's a great track.
If I had half of what's in his cranium I wouln't be a Paddy I'd be a Frank Bartholomew or some such.
Stephen Hawking> That man has a theory for everything: a real on well when then can bring gravity into the equation. That sounds like a joke, well it is, but at the same time.......?
"For millions of years mankind lived just like the animals
Then something happenend which unleashed the power of our imagination
We learned to talk."
That's where the trouble started.
Yours;-) Paddy
SORRY. That man has a theory of everything: a real theory except for gravity. As you can see he's having a good time looking for that.
I really need to check in. I'm beginning to crack.
Y;-) P.
I attended the University of California at Santa Barbara which also houses the Kavli Institute of Theoretical Physics (KITP). While I was at UCSB, the good Dr. Hawking was doing research at KITP. Occasionally you'd see him tooling around campus with his assistant scampering along at his side. And if you were really lucky, he and his wife would roll in at for drinks at the local pub. She fed his beer to him through a straw.
That story made me happy for him.
Mr Bananas I will have to google said lady, if they are drunk,sober, passed out, I'm always ready and willing.
paddy thats one way to make pink floyd even more shite than they are, I thought you should have checked in weeks ago.
fresh hell did he get students to bang his wife while he watched making excited comments about the universe?
sassy the story needed more sex.
Couldn't get a pic of his wife/ex wives but it is good to hear a genius can marry the wrong woman too, not so smart now huh?
if you used enough duct tape and gave him a good tongue lashing it'd be like screwing the worlds smartest dildo. is he prone to seizures? bonus!
watcha talking about, old man? I read your blog all the goddamn time. I didnt find my computer, but they give me a new, better one with the insurance. so alls well that ends well. I'm just a wee bit too busy to blog any more.
Picture of Hawking's second wife linked here. Send her your picture so she'll have something to think about while she's fiddling with Hawking.
Try again.
The accent is what I don't get.
It just doesn't sound Japanese.
He talks just like the Medibot in Look Around You.
first nations an intelligent dildo would be the end of mankind.
taihae it kind of spoils the mood when I post you as having died, removed yer link and then you post again, ah well at least yer life is working out and those pics from yer old computer haven't been put on-line yet.
Mr Bananas from what I read she is an ex wife now, maybe she wants an upgrade.
Mr the robber its from the Dos region, yes hes a dosser.
Mr Eater are you talking hippy music again? you young people.
Next time I'll try to sex up my story more. I resist this approach because I don't think I could bear it if you knew how utterly depraved my mind really is.
A Dalek reference!
Happy day.
Wondered when it would ever matter that you were the only Timelord with your own teeth.
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