Meet Carlos, he is the founder of the Spanish branch of Knudsen Nation, a fan club/sect who will kill themselves or post rude anonymous comments at my bidding.
He claims to be my son which is highly unlikely as he is 34 and 34 years ago I may have been dating numerous "ladies of Spain" while I sailed aboard the "Lusty" but I made sure they washed their parts with Coca Cola after sex to avoid pregnancy, using Pepsi or Fanta would be just silly, condoms are for the afraid and besides they just don't feel right, anyway that birth control crap should be up to the weemen, yes I know by giving them this big responsibility I am sending the message "I trust and respect you as almost my equal" (like I could have an equal)
So Carlos who claims to be my son but sends me pictures of his erection all the time sent me this picture to show his devotion to the Knudsenite cause just for Father's day, what a fine fella and cum to mention it, what have you fuckers done for me lately?
I've had a busy Father's day this year . On Father's day I got more than the usual amounts of angry phone calls, messages wrapped round bricks and thrown through my windows, people causing scenes at my door , "you were never there for me, you never hugged me" yeah yeah yeah, that's the last time I give out my address to fellow bloggers.
For future reference people, I do not want to see yer babies, I don't care if they have a passing resemblance to me and lick at yer tities when they should be feeding.
Salma Hayek, it was great what we had and I love you but I'm not in love with you, after the baby is born and you get back into shape give me a call and we'll hit the pubs for old times sake.
They have to go and spoil it all by aging and getting pregnant, weemen can be so cruel sometimes.
The son I recognise (for legal reasons and the fact that he buys me stuff) Trevor sent me a card, then he phoned me up to wish me happy Father's day. I asked him what the fuck was I to do with a card? he eventually made it up to me by dropping off a case of beer and renting out a couple of movies 'Debbie does Dallas meets Cockzilla' I've been wanting to see that for ages I hear its got great special effects, a lot of Oscar buzz when it came out and the artsy film Cunt Gushers 2.
Based on a true story I hear and stars Toni Braxton, hubba hubba.
I hope all you Daddies had a good Father's day and remembered to point out to the wee fuckers all the stuff you have done for them and will do for them in the future (lie) so they don't bust yer chops about the lack of child support, hugs or general interest in their well being.
I sent my father an envelope full of Anthrax, its an on going joke we have, he sent me a box of feces for my birthday, ah we brabblers may argue and cut each other with broken bottles but you can't deny the love that's there, ach I'm getting all teary eyed, it must be the CS gas that some funny fucker just threw through my windy.
Sunday 17 June 2007
Happy Father's Day.
oldknudsen@gmail.com Old Knudsen
Labels: cunt gushers 2, fathers day, slama hayek
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27 comments:
Your father must be 180 years old Mr K...!! I received a will form from mine.... TEE HEE they are going to be disappointed...
Hes older than dirt, who will you leave yer porn too?
You could always cut the card up and use it for joint roaches?
Have a happy day, Daddy, I mean, Old K...
jungle jane I'm no smoking that after its been in the bin all day.
the little cheese I have no problem being a sugar daddy, who needs DNA results?
I have not heard any good sensible reasons to re-cycle, anyway I go by bus.
Only if yer buying and only for as long as you can afford me.
did you get the present i sent, sugar?
Strangely enough no.
then i'll just have to drop it off in person, sugar ;)
I have plenty of bricks thrown through my window thankyou.
have i ever treated you that way, sugar?
That Carlos is saucy. He'll be getting some fan mail I bet.
How does one go about joining Knudsen Nation?
savannah ok give it to me and it had better be clean this time.
DH with the kind of people that read this blog no doubt.
Forget it.
You're too high maintenance.
yer lordship the link to becomming a Knudsenite is cleverly hidden on my side bar on the Knudsen Nation banner.
MJ thats what they all say.
Anyone can see that Kieran's your true son, you only called him a cunt because you saw the one he came out of. I'm not suprised he's snubbed you on father's day, though, I bet you never helped him fly his kite.
Carlos is walking birth control in those shorts. No one's going to invite him home while he's wearing those.
I don't want to be one - it seems a bit itchy (like being a gypsy). Good luck to you though. Remember to record the mass suicide!
Ah, Fathers Day in Scotland. Daddy's across the nation fill the pubs to celebrate fatherhood before going home to knock the shit out of the family. Just like any other Sunday really, the only difference being that on this one they give you a card and 20 B&H to say thank you.
fat sparrow did yer Ma tell you?
Mr Bananas Kieran is the son I never touched up, maybe I'll keep this up until he comments.
medbh he is a cheeky fella.
yer lordship you don't want to be one? thats it yer barred from Knudsen Nation.
Mr Waring yes it does bring a tear of sentiment to my eye.
fat sparrow did yer Ma tell you?
Mr Bananas Kieran is the son I never touched up, maybe I'll keep this up until he comments.
medbh he is a cheeky fella.
yer lordship you don't want to be one? thats it yer barred from Knudsen Nation.
Mr Waring yes it does bring a tear of sentiment to my eye.
at least you get a card and beer. Call yourself loved. Happy Father's day!
Whats there not to love about me?
Where can I get a pair of them shorts knuddie? And will my sack hang out of the front?
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