Thursday 31 May 2007

Heidi Says No!

Poor little orphan Heidi up a Swiss mountain tending her flock, this was before she became a supermodel, got a taste for Seal meat and had 12 children. Seal meat is way too fatty for me and I don't like the dark meat as much as I like the white .


Ok it has to be said, Switzerland is a cunt cuntry that's full of cunts. Cuckoo clocks , chocolate, pen knives, cheese , Heidi and bank accounts. They even used the second world war to boost their tourism, when I escaped from Salag 18 the rest of my escapees wanted to go to Switzerland as it was neutral as many brave nations were back then, I told them to go and fuck I'd rather head for the neutrality of Ireland and that's a real hole. My comrades tried to talk me out of it using things like logic on me, "its too far and why not just go to England as you have to go past it" but I was stubborn and once I made my mind up that's that.

The Nazis used to go to Ireland all the time to meet up with their IRA friends so I grabbed a hold of a U-boat and held my breath but that's another story and stop trying to distract me from those cheesy, chocolate making chicken shits.

The last time the Swiss went to war was 1798 against the French, the battle lasted 11 minutes before one of the soldiers got a nasty scratch on his chin, all the other soldiers who saw the blood fainted and then both sides bravely surrendered .

The Swiss have a team of crack troops guarding the Pope, I'm sure old Bene the dick feels very safe, it didn't help John Paul when he got shot .The bodyguards hadn't heard gun fire before and fainted when they saw the Pope's blood.

The largest party in Switzerland’s Parliament the people's party are a right wing Christian group that are pushing for a ban on the Minarets that go along with Islamic Mosques, even though Islam is the second largest religion in Switzerland there aren't any proper mosques and with this ban that means there won't be either. They just don't want there kind around there.

I can't blame them as you can never trust anyone who doesn't like dogs, all those cat people out there should be shot, no seriously a human/cat hybrid (unless its Jessica Alba) is an abomination against God, use a toilet ya dirty fuckers and stop spraying on my door, oh and people who prefer cats to dogs as pets should be hanged, then cut doon alive and have their bowels burnt before their eyes their head cut off and their body quartered and divided and scattered to the 4 points of the compass and buried at crossroads (no not the motel) well that's just my opinion no doubt my more liberals readers think some sort of educational program might work better, I bet liberals like cats. Purr fucking purr I'm so fucking cute here let me rub my hair and fleas all over yer legs as a sign of affection, don't patronise me you arse licking yarn chasing users.

So anyway The People's Party with their Neo Nazi supporters are just tossers who are getting on as badly as the insurgents in Iraq who destroy rival Mosques and Christian churches so I say Switzerland stop being racist wankers just find a Bible passage that supports yer argument in some vague sense and use that to defeat the dirty heathen with, its the civilised way then you can fire bomb their make do Mosques with a clear conscience and still get into Heaven, not that I want a load of poofy Swiss running around in the After life.



Heres what Islam needs, a reform and more of those Islamic cunts cuming forward speaking out against the extremists, the nuking of Iran and Muslims acting a bit more white can I make it any clearer?

5 comments:

Megan McGurk said...

I thought Heidi Klum was German.

Old Knudsen said...

I try not to hold that against the poor gurl. The restraining order prevents me from holding anything else against her.

Anonymous said...

Even by the end of your last paragraph, I'm still more worried about what's gonna happen to that poor, little goat.

She looks like she's holding onto a Happy Meal.
-P

Old Knudsen said...

They probably made it into cheese or something, I don't know how it works.

Fat Sparrow said...

Medbh said -- "I thought Heidi Klum was German."

Old Knudsen doesn't let small things like facts stand in his way.