Friday 10 August 2007

Das Boot And I Don't Mean Yer Ma


So many films have been made about World War II, mainly because the generation that lived during it went on to live through the golden age of British cinema. Remember that Britain was still effected by rationing and conscription (national service) well into the 50's so it was still on their minds a lot. Every time I ate a tripe sandwich without the bread washed doon with muddy puddle water I cursed Hitler.

I loved the later war movies like "The great escape" and the "Guns of Navarrone" which was followed by "Force 10 from Navarrone" not to forget "A bridge too far" , "The longest day" and "The Eagle has landed" jam packed full of stars like the Oceans Eleven films of today but better. Believable action heroes that didn't knock doon helicopters with flying cars like that Die cast and live longer with Bruce Willis crap.

The British and Americans were the cowboys/good guys and the Germans/Japs were the single minded evil menace taking over from the Redskins of the old westerns.

Eventually movies evolved and started to look at the other side, sympathetic German soldiers who didn't believe in fascism but did their job anyway, war is hell movies . Yeah yeah the Jews had it rough did it give them character? no it turned them into right vicious cunts in Israel and taught them how to treat the enemy.
It all changes, you have Brad Pitt or Richard Gere playing IRA men and in time you'll have Hollywood stars playing brave Al-Qaeda freedom fighters fending off the evil yank invasion as the IRA have done against us evil British for years . Jack Nicholson is Chemical Ali, "You fuck with Allah and you'll get my burning Fatwa, you can't handle my burning fatwa."

I was watching that submarine film Das Boot (The boat for you yanks) originally a German mini series about a WWII sub crew and the horrors of war yadda yadda now a feature film and held up to be a masterpiece, well its the biggest load of boring old shite I've ever watched much like Ingmar or was it Ingrid Bergman's movies? the one who just died recently Swedes, Germans its all double Dutch to me.

Well Das Boot tried to make you see the submariners as human even though they were the enemy. I must of missed the point or something all I was thinking about was how fucking ugly the whole cast was and where the hell was the remote control?
At the end they reached a port and got out and then a couple of allied planes came out of the sky shooting and bombing the fuck out of everything, is this the part where you feel concern for those you've followed for two hours? well I cheered and was shouting at the screen where the planes should shoot, I shout at the TV a lot. At the end most of the crew died, was it poignant? fuck no a happy ending no less.

Hey don't call me emotionally unavailable I know you're going to. I get choked up at the end of Schindler's list and at the end of Saving Ryan's privates. I have pretty clear cut views as to who is worthy or not of sympathy and that's without the help of the movie makers, that 21 grams film was a laugh riot, a right feel good movie. I'd totally ride that Noami Watts or Nicole Kidman lite as I call her.

18 comments:

Fat Sparrow said...

"Remember that Britain was still effected by rationing and conscription (national service) well into the 50's so it was still on their minds a lot."

Hard to remember for us Yanks, as it was a booming prosperous time here, when we still had dreams of making the rest of the world our bitches.

Manuel said...

LMM and I went to the cinema to see 21grams. We didn't speak as we left the cinema, we didn't speak in the car home, we didn't speak as we brushed our teeth, we didn't speak at all. We just cried ourselves to sleep. Christ that movie was hard. Ripped the bloody soul out of you, ironic really....

Ms. Kimba said...

ach!
Saving Ryans private parts, another fave of mine..old k your choking me up here!

Old Knudsen said...

fat sparrow the yanks cut doon to 4 meals a day, must have been tough.

manuel I swear sometimes you're growing a vage, what about the nipple popping sex scene?

dive I cheer on the gheys, Enola Ghey that is.

Mrs Cecrux some films you can't go wrong with and I don't even like Tom Hanks but he was good in this.

Anonymous said...

Ironically Britain in a way "lost" after the war - a lot of damage done by the Luftwaffe, economical difficulties, trouble in the crumbling empire.
Germany lost the war and the Russians or other blokes took what was left of functioning industrial equipment. So when the west decided to built western Germany up again they started from scratch in some areas with new technology, new equipment, new infrastructure. Wirtschaftswunder.

I find "Das Boot" pretty boring. And smelly.

Old Knudsen said...

It got the US out of the depression but screwed us a fair bit. Though for helping with the war Northern Ireland was given the social benefits/healthcare the English on mainland had.Many folks like such films because they have been told its a masterpiece. Casablanca-- shite, gone with the wind-- shite.

Anonymous said...

Gore Vidal (still alive!) says that war is permanent piece of american foreign policy for economical reasons since the Phillipines sometimes back in the 1890ies.

Caramba, what films DO you like? All cowboys riding in the sunset? Argl - where's Klaus with the machinegun when needed?

Cycles Goff said...

Here's your fucking classic WWII submarine war film : 'The Enemy Below'.

The best bit is when some guy gets his fingers chopped off cause he fucks up a depth charge distributing situation.

You mightn't like it though, Old Knudsen, as some of the Germans live.

And while I'm here, the film is called 'Shaving Ryan's privates.' Sheesh.

DirtyBitchSociety said...

I truly think you've missed your calling; A Film Critic.

I've watched every movie you've mentioned, kinda my hobby; war.

Old Knudsen said...

mago I think you're getting confused with Vidal Sassoon. I like lots of films, Snatch,300,Brazil,Captain Blood,Something about Mary, Sanjuro,any zombie film,Silverado, They died with their boots on just too many to list.

gimme a minute All that strategy silent running crap I bet with Robert Mitchum looking constipated , my arse is the enemy below, is that the film Star Trek 2 ripped off? I saw part of a recent sub film that looked spooky, I don't know the title but I keep looking out for it. It had yer man in it, you know the fella.

Old Knudsen said...

DBS war as a hobby? collecting stamps is way too brutal.

Jeff G said...

I know you think Das Boot is boring, but as an ex-sub guy you gotta love the comment where the dude is picking his nose hairs and the other guy says "hey, I got some hairs in my ass, maybe we could tie them together and get something going." Classic sub humor.

Old Knudsen said...

Oh dear, if thats sub humour I'm glad I stayed on top of the sea not under it. Thats like people who jump out of aeroplanes with parachutes, just asking for trouble.

Megan McGurk said...

War movies are all fairly formulaic and heavy handed with sentiment. I'll still probably get around to watching Clint Eastwood's Iwo Jima version, though.

Old Knudsen said...

Most films are fairly formulaic and sentimental from love stories to comedies, they make them ok until 3 quarters in and then finish with an action packed chase scene.

NiolK said...

Das Boot is a classic you Twanny!!!!!

I suppose you prefer shite like that load o' wank where the POWs play football against the nazis.

PS - I saw Jurgen Prochnow in Dun Laoghaire once.

Old Knudsen said...

Just because Barry Norman calls it a classic doesn't make it one, yer such a sheep, whats wrong with "escape to victory?" kurt Russell as snake pliskin kicks arse.Dun Laoghaire? is that even a real place?

Bock the Robber said...

I was taken by the Nuns of Navarone.