Wednesday 22 August 2007

Follow The Bear

Colin Firth is an actor that bores the tits off me. If the role requires a tall middle aged stuffy English twat then he gets it. He has the acting range of my shit and just as much charisma.

His latest film out is "The Last Legion, " with the line "Before King Arthur, there was Excalibur." Well before this piece of crap there was a similar film called " King Arthur."
Both films go the way of King Arthur being a Roman soldier, a premise that was interesting enough but not worth two films. I want shiny armour , round fucking tables , sister fucking and a steamy love triangle that destroys a kingdom not dagos stinking of garlic thinking they are going to be king of England.

I've only seen the King Arthur one with Clive Owen and so feel the need to ask this question. "Why do they make the king Arthur character so fucking dull and ugly?"

Ugly English blokes are the in thing just ask Daniel Craig . Clive Owen has the acting range of Colin Firth and as much charisma, see above.

In King Arthur the love interest was played by that annoying chavette with the eating disorder Keira Knightley , the only ray of light I see to cum from any of this is the love interest in The Last Legion.

I hate myself for being so shallow but Bollywood actress Aishwarya Rai has now be cum the latest entry to my wank bank.

Sometimes I think that films are cast with cunts in the main roles on purpose to lose money or not make as much as they could as a tax write off (see Steven Segal) If you don't believe me then watch films especially made for the Sci-fi channel, "hey lets cast Stephen Baldwin in the lead, hes so cool its bound to be a great movie."

8 comments:

willowtree said...

There are only two types of rolls for English actors (because there are only two types of Englishmen):

1) A tall middle aged stuffy English twat, and 2) A tall middle aged stuffy English twat who stutters.

Colin Firth has got the first one sewn up and Hugh Grant owns the second one. That's why Hugh Laurie put on a Yank accent and fucked off to Hollywood.

Megan McGurk said...

Clive Owen knocked the wind out of me with his performance in "Children of Men." I cried my fucking eyes out when I saw that and that almost never happens.

Ms. Kimba said...

Dear Old K...

I have something for you. 2 pix I found quite funny...dunno if you want them. somewhere along the way I got lost and can't figure out how to get them to you, any bright ideas there einstein?

Old Knudsen said...

willowtree whinging poms the lot of them.

the little cheese Its all politics, my shit will have its day.

medbh let me guess he frowned and looked confused a lot, no wonder you cried if you paid to see it.

mrs cecrux you can copy and paste it onto an e-mail or "save as" in yer pictures and insert it into a mail. If they are polaroids of yerself or something just send them in the post.

Old Knudsen said...

The world of the right click awaits.

Ms. Kimba said...

excuse myself...but I was in search of an email, which stupidly I found in the funniest place. Your profile. What in the world would it be doing there I wonder?

Glad ya got them :)

Maja said...

Clive Owen is HOT! You wouldn't understand, you're a man who is probably not ghey.

Old Knudsen said...

No I am not ghey but I do appreciate a good looking leading man with acting talent and presence, Clive Owen has nothing but being tall and dark, does that annoying voice not get to you?