Tuesday 23 October 2007

Most Britons Could Be Obese by 2050

I'm fat but ya still want a taste of me Fatty Arbuckle. Call me a fat fucker if ya want, I can diet but you'll still be ugly.

I think it will happen in the next 10 years as we are well catching up on America, the country that saved us from the Hun only to make us fat and apathetic. (no offense to the fat apathetic Yanks) and I'm a bit of a chubby chaser anyway.

It took 250 experts over two years to come to the conclusion that fast food and lack of exercise will make the British fat. Experts in what? I want to see their time sheets and see what the cunts have been doing for 2 years, did ya clock out for lunch? how many sick days did ya have? when I worked for Tillyman's fish and chip shop I never took one sick day in the whole seven years I worked there, not even when I had pubic lice or leprosy, people all insisted that I should go to a doctor but I said "no, doctors are for the weak."

60 percent of men, 50 percent of women and a quarter of children and young people would be obese by 2050. I take it the non-fat people will be the ones with the eating disorders who work in the entertainment industry.

The government has pledged to draw up new plans to combat bulging waistlines, obesity problems costs Britain 45 billion pounds a year in healthcare, instead of treating fat fuckers wire their gobs shut and sign them up for a gym or send them out to dig ditches, 100 years ago there were hardly any fat people, bring back the days of poor nutrition and hard work, just look at the films from then, no gangs of chavs and people walked faster, they weren't happy but oh they were grateful for what they got.

Well don't worry, the International Obesity TaskForce have promised to respond rapidly and decisively....... After lunch.

I may have packed on a few pounds over the weekend, water retention and I'm big boned, especially in me arse, I will not be attacked rapidly or decisively. I shall sue those fat experts, the task force and the government for discrimination against fat people, then I shall get lipo and a tummy tuck as a gym sounds like hard work and it smells.

11 comments:

ellie said...

A fat tax? Mass weigh ins(excuse the pun) Just so that a skinny person can tell me I'm fat ..... hold on ... that's called Weight Watcher's isn't it?

Old Knudsen said...

Get in my belly.

savannah said...

come here, big boy!

Old Knudsen said...

MJ that scares me.

savannah that scares me more.

ellie said...

You want to eat me ????? *blush*

Jenny said...

Even big boys need some lovin.

FirstNations said...

OOOOOOOOOO, i love a big man.

a big, green man.

a big green man with a raging erection, ready to plunge it down my throat an

no wait, that's eddie.
sorry.

Anonymous said...

What has that Wearing have that I do not have?

Manuel said...

Thank fuck I'm Irish then. Now where did I put my pie.......?

Eddie Waring said...

mago said...

What has that Wearing have that I do not have?


I don't know but you can have it if you want it, you just can't return it when you decide you were probably better off without it.

Jeff G said...

"Do ya have ta call me fat? I tried going on a diet you know. The Zone, ya know, Carbs are the enemy, eh? But the portions were so wee I ate the delivery man."