Sunday 7 October 2007

You Want It Yer Way Fuck Off To BK And Get It

If you won't do it up the bum no babies with this, then yer just ghey.

When I worked at Tillyman's Fish and Chip Shop (the best battered cod on the mainland) sometimes I had to take over from the manager when he had too much too drink, I'd prop him up at his desk with the bucket beside him and take his keys.
The more important you are in life the more keys you carry, these keys made me stand up an inch taller and puff my chest out, when a worker talked back I'd give them a stern look and rattle my keys in their face, oh yes I was someone, now I knew how Hitler, Napoleon and Elvis must of felt, the power was intoxicating or was the 8 Whiskeys I had with the manager?

One fine day when I was in charge of the shift a bloke with long hair came up to the counter and asked the gurl for a Whooper, he was trying to be funny but we did the famous Tillyman's half pounder Hawaiian burger, now I hate vegetables on my burgers except red sass but the way we made them with pineapple and thousand island dressing it was fucking delish.

Not only do I have a Whooper but they call me King Dong.

The gurl who was serving, upon hearing his request for a Whooper not wanting to miss a joke at the customer's expense called over to me that she needed a Whooper, without missing a beat I said, "well I don't like to brag but I'll be over with it in a minute." The customer who must of thought he was funny then started to squirm and said, "tell yer manager I'm a guy," to quote "some like it hot" I called out , "well nobodies perfect." He never stayed for his burger.

8 comments:

Jenny said...

drunk with power were you?

The Mistress said...

Will you be giving out samples of your "special sauce" with those orders?

Old Knudsen said...

a boxer yes and it gave me a hangover.

MJ I give it to anyone thats silly enough to take it.

savannah said...

ya just never know what's gonna happen when someone turns around...

Megan McGurk said...

I love that line, Old Knudsen.
The look on Jack Lemmon's face was priceless.
I'm sure the hippie dude had a similar look of surprise?

Anonymous said...

You shoulda said, "You don't like to drag it too much." Poor thing, that's got to be so hard...on your back, huh?

Old Knudsen said...

savannah indeed, people turn on me all the time.

medbh I don't think he expected humour from the workers.

DBS Its my burden, a little bit like having a twin brother that you have to carry.

FINN said...

what an auto-wreck that BK photo is. i cannot look away.

nicely done.