Monday 5 November 2007

Nasa You Slack Jawed Cunts


NASA's Dawn spacecraft lifted off to explore an asteroid and a dwarf planet. It will reach Vesta, its first stop in 2011 and Ceres, its second and last stop in 2015. They are the two largest bodies in the asteroid belt between Mars and Jupiter for you know fuck alls out there.
Vesta is but an asteroid but Ceres was promoted to dwarf planet, yay! lets here it for Ceres.

What a nice story of excessive government spending during a war on two fronts, made you look at something else huh?

I don't trust NASA, every rocket scientist I've met has been a right cunt, you know the kind they never buy a round of drinks and tries to steal yer woman with big talk about propulsion, fuck I hate the bastards with their pen protectors and big calculations .

Well, ever wonder how the world is going to end? Space exploration has already gotten the attention of the mighty Clonazepam empire and the world devouring Galactacus but thanks to me and other superheroes such as the Trannies (formerly known as the X-men) the super awesome four and the New Avengers those threats have been fended off nicely.

I'll tell you our fate, recently NASA that ugly bunch of turd breathed sniffers of fresh ink in books and magazines, new cars and new shoes crossed their fingers and sent up the space shuttle, they had aboard some germ bacteria with a view to see what exposure to zero gravity would do to it, too much time on their hands I reckon, hey lets see what happens if you mircowave a kitten. Some of the bacteria got into the shuttle's air vents and mutated turning the astronauts into fat beer swilling sports fan zombies, you know the type, they start off every conversation with "Rangers didn't do too good last night" or "it looks like Crusaders are out."



No wait a minute the whole zombie thing is the plot to my new book, don't go stealing it now, hey what do you call a failed author ?.............. A Blogger! hahahahahaha, I think I may be getting funnier each day .

The NASA space germs came back stronger and more resistant, yep that's what we need more strains of super germs, our antibiotics are becoming more useless every day hey why not speed that along a bit more.

It all fits into my theories about how the US invented aids. I have nothing against gheys but I am fucking glad its a ghey plague.



In years to come the only ones left on Earth will be Keith Richards, cockroaches and germs, yes of course I'll still be here blogging away to an empty Blogosphere as usual they don't call me a coffin dodger for nothing. Cockroaches make excellent comenters I hear, that'll be a nice change .




16 comments:

Maidy said...

Won't Keith comment on the blog as well?

Or will he still be on tour?

The Mistress said...

See where it says under your posting, "...want intercourse with me"?

Well, Maidy wants it bad from you, Knudsie.

That's why she's first.

Anonymous said...

In years to come, the only ones left on Earth will be a few germs, but the germs living in the Middle East will still be bitter enemies with the germs in the left bank.

Anonymous said...

Knud:

I fixed the popup comment box on me blog on your advice.

Jenny said...

Yes, but will cockroaches want to have intercourse with you?

The Mistress said...

AnonBoxer: Doesn't everyone?

savannah said...

and it's only monday, sugar...

Old Knudsen said...

maidink Richards speaks in drunken tumble dryer talk and I doubt he can even work the Interweb.

MJ That makes a change I'm usually first.

ronknee but the germs on the west bank will be my puppets

a boxer shove a load of them into a jar and don't give em the choice, cockroach rape will be legal in my future.

savannah It is? I think I may have lost a few days.

witchypoo said...

Maybe Keith Richards is immortal because he snorted some of his dead father's ashes one time.

Jenny said...

mj - you're right, and even cockroaches need love.

marky said...

Wow! A whole new race of people germinated by Keith Richards and... hmmm, theres gotta be a woman left for him to regenerate the human race with. Hmmm, who?...any ideas Old K? Anyone?

The Mistress said...

Marky: I've always fancied Keef.

I'll do him.

Problem solved.

marky said...

mj - Then Ye Shall Go Forth and Multiply Creating A Multitude of Little Rolling Stoneys. AMEN

The Mistress said...

Marky: Pebbles.

marky said...

mj - Ahhhh...very clever. i do hope they come out with your looks. Even 30 years ago Keith looked like his face had set fire and been put out with a track shoe.

Old Knudsen said...

I wonder if the cockroaches will go on about how hot Keith Richards is because he reminds them of Johnny Depp.