Tuesday 11 December 2007

And Jesus Said, "What About Ye?"

A poll of more than 1,000 people found that the people in the Republic of Ireland have more religious knowledge than those in Northern Ireland. only 31% could recite the First Commandment.

That's the one that says "You shall have no other gods before Me" I told the Big G at the time that this one sounded a little insecure, what does a big bad deity like you have to fear from those other silly gods? I told him to just say "NO!" so that can be interpreted as anything but oh no that cunt never listens to anyone, he asked me "do you not have to be stupid somewhere else?" I answered, "not until 4 O'clock."

Knowledge doesn't play a big part in the religion of Northern Ireland, sure they had this whole terrorism thing for nearly 4 decades over the true Protestant way and the evil Catholic way but really they knew fuck all about religion. Like the Islamofascists they make it up as they go along and use it as an excuse.


Here is what the Protestant majority of Northern Ireland know about religion.

If you go to a big stone church once a week you will get into Heaven.

Looking respectable at church means yer a good person.

Catholics are evil because ................. they work for the Pope and are all IRA terrorists, yep that sounds right.

Those who do not believe what you believe in are wrong and so therefore inferior and doomed.

You only believe what yer vicar tells you assuming you can stay awake and remember the sermon.

Its not my job to know the 12 commandments .

Jesus was a white blue eyed man and the first Protestant.

The Pope is in league with the Devil and probably an ex Nazi.

The naked body is sinful and drink is the Devil's vomit but as long as its you its ok to enjoy both.

If in doubt shout "NO POPE HERE" and refuse to listen.

I'm a torn man, Ian Paisley and George Clooney are both up for the Tipperary Peace Award. I don't mind being snubbed yet again (fucking bog trotters) but how can I chose between these two gods of goodness?

5 comments:

Bohemian in Korea said...

Knudsen 'is the way the truth and the light, No one comes to the father but by him.'

Old Knudsen said...

John wrote that during a 3 day bender, he was actually trying to relate a story about how his father abused him with sleep depravation by keeping the light on and cumming on him if he fell asleep. It was hard for him to talk about.

The Mistress said...

Choose the one who would give the best head.

Old Knudsen said...

Big Ian it is then.

Foot Eater said...

I say vote for Clooney because he sounds more Catholic and if you give succour to the Popish cause it will enrage God and lo, he will smite the earth and all the beasts on it and the fishes in the sea, too, and Armageddon will be come, and the rapture will carry the righteous into the Kingdom of Heaven. Plus, I hear George's parties are the best in California.