You cunts just go about and buy yer expensive toys and deck yer halls etc but have you ever thought of the price of Christmas? yeah like you really care just drink yer eggnog and eat yer turkey.
Ever wonder about Santa's Elves? whittling away at I-pods , X-boxes and rabbit vibrators or putting the triangles on the Argyle socks you never wanted. It used to be they only worked during December and spent the rest of the year as tooth fairies and guardian angels for lonely travelers but as Christmas is getting earlier every year they now start in November as toy demand has stepped up but they have it lucky. Its the ones doon the coal mines that have it hard, since the world is full of little shites they work doon pit all year, long hours in dangerous conditions and what does Santa do? well that lard ass eats and watches soaps all year only working one night a year and most of that is spent fucking mummy under the tree or eating cookies as magic is used for most deliveries.
Its a catch 22 situation, be good and get presents, be bad and get coal, its like Jesus, he'll love you whether you want it or not which in my mind puts them in the same categories as pedos, rapists and governments.
Never mind the poor and the homeless just give a thought to Santa's slaves. Maybe Santa could give bad little sprogs a chunk of Carbon Off-set instead, things have to change as Santa is killing the planet.
Ever wonder about Santa's Elves? whittling away at I-pods , X-boxes and rabbit vibrators or putting the triangles on the Argyle socks you never wanted. It used to be they only worked during December and spent the rest of the year as tooth fairies and guardian angels for lonely travelers but as Christmas is getting earlier every year they now start in November as toy demand has stepped up but they have it lucky. Its the ones doon the coal mines that have it hard, since the world is full of little shites they work doon pit all year, long hours in dangerous conditions and what does Santa do? well that lard ass eats and watches soaps all year only working one night a year and most of that is spent fucking mummy under the tree or eating cookies as magic is used for most deliveries.
Its a catch 22 situation, be good and get presents, be bad and get coal, its like Jesus, he'll love you whether you want it or not which in my mind puts them in the same categories as pedos, rapists and governments.
Never mind the poor and the homeless just give a thought to Santa's slaves. Maybe Santa could give bad little sprogs a chunk of Carbon Off-set instead, things have to change as Santa is killing the planet.
Or you can just say, "fuck the Elves I'm ok" and look at this Christmas totty. I know what I want for Christmas.
13 comments:
tell ya what, he could bring top row, second from left a better set of rubber boobs for crimmus. my dog has a better rack. and theres four extra, too.
I see dead boobs.
firstnations boy are you picky, does yer dog have a phone number?
a boxer 1) stop looking in the mirror 2) you can always get a boob job 3) can I touch them?
You can't fool me, they aren't real elves, they would catch their death at the North Pole dressed like that!
Who's gonna foot the insurance bill (there's bill again) when your elves come down with black lung?
i want these weemen. i want to spray my seed all over them. today, Knudsen done good.
Your first paragraph made me spit my drink all over my laptop from laughing.
Merry Christmas Old K
Merry Christmas x
No. I haven't touched them in years myself.
Dog walk the whatever it is you said last year, Old Man.
Miss you!
Wishing you a better then averedge non-denominational or denominational celebratory day anyway.
=P
but can they hold a decent conversation?
*knocking back eggnog* (not really, but it looks the part)
Its even worse than you thought!
A couple of days ago in a nameless Manchester Store...i saw Santa & Im sure he spoke with a Polish accent! I couldnt get up real close(he wouldnt let me sit on his kneee)but Im 99% sure!
The Worlds Gone Crazy!
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