Thursday 10 January 2008

The Wanking Post


I worship the religion of Santeria which is an off shoot (pardon the pun) of Free Presbyterianism as any of you half educated half wits will know.

To give it its Scot's Gaelic name "Regla de Ocha" which loosely translated means 'The only true way and the rest of you are damned to burn in hell.'
Our way is a way of love (terms and conditions may apply) and we have our own version of the Bible as dictated to from God Himself to Angus McJobby in the year 666 BC .

We are a most enlightened Church and are against Gheys, Catholics, Jews, Slavs, Dirty Arabs and People of colour........... unless they are hot of course then they are ok we just don't notice.
Hot Asian gurly-boys are fine in my opinion and that of my minister and if you don't like them then you must be a gheyer or something.

I don't believe in evolution, just look at that word, isn't evol just a little bit too much like evil? and to evolve well nothing good can come of that. Why ask questions and think for yerself when you can just read the good book or ask yer pastor?
The world is 5000 years old and if you find anything older then that's the work of the Devil, simple enough to explain.

I believe in Intelligent design, if it was a bad idea would it be called intelligent? don't try logic on me, even though I only have one leg I can still run rings round you logically cos I got the smarts and God is on my side as the great Adolf Hitler once said and look at him, from a poor family to ruling Germany and most of Europe, the American dream but with lederhosen.

God made Adam and lilith but she was uppity and wouldn't make the tae when told to so, she then went off to fuck lots of Demons in a cave which is what the Slavs are descended from. Then God made a better more subservient woman named Eve who wasn't too bright and there was the whole original sin thing which I have never forgiven weemen for.

And so'eth did God remarketh, "Fucking weemen they just never listen."


"Luke, fling the poo."

Getting back to intelligent design, after mankind fought the apes for control of the world and wiped out the walking talking ones we were left with humans. Also left was the stupid monkeys and primates that fling poo and blog etc.

George W Bush the third or fourth most powerful man in the world could in no way share any kind of ancestry with apes. Balderdash I say.

Due to Intelligent design the primates still had opposable thumbs and what does any animal no matter how stupid do with the gift of opposable thumbs ? they masturbate.
Ever notice that given the power to tug the lad they will make full use of it and will be the only other creatures apart from superior humans that have sex for pleasure? monkeys and apes still don't have souls like all the other animals which is why they can't get into Heaven and why we eat them.

What disturbs me the most about this picture? the size of his knob or the furniture?


Disclaimer:
If anyone is outraged, insulted, disgusted or just remotely pissed off at this post then, Old Knudsen fuck yeah!

12 comments:

marky said...

I'm just disturbed. Have a laxative and get some fresh air Old Dude. You got an internet worm.

turnerBroadcasting said...

This blog gives a whole new whole new meaning to the term "spankin' the monkey."

ellie said...

I'm remotely pissed off, lots of cock but not enought hot men, not like your previous post ... Phwoar!!!

Jenny said...

Fuck yeah!

But not "outgraged, insulted, disgusted or just remotely pissed off"....

more, disturbed.

Thank you.

Old Knudsen said...

marky I suffer from cerebral diarrhea the last thing I need is a laxative .

turnerBC no monkeys were harmed in the making of this post.

ellie I fear you have had the best and will not do with the rest.

inner voices A pervert is merely just more open minded.

a boxer thats the usual way I like to leave my readers.

Unknown said...

ah yes, the south american lesser spotted wanking monkey. An elusive and delightful creature.

The Mistress said...

*still awaiting the Johnny Stains video*

marky said...

I feel like a new man.

marky said...

Hi Grandad!

Old Knudsen said...

annemarie I prefer the sucker mouthed fish.

mj It won't be available in the shops, check out QVC.

marky A new one? you go through men like a hoor.

marky you like that whole ghey/pedo greek Roman era then do you?

marky said...

Ok Ok. Don't worry be happy.

marky said...

I'm going through changes...it's another identity crisis which happens to me really often. i think i'm going with the 'Liberty' icon. Anything wrong with that ya old coot?