Sunday 24 February 2008

Boring With A Side Of Dull

I am a movie hoor, I love the Hollywood stars and good films. I usually predict the Oscar winners with a fair amount of success I mean who didn't know that last year Martin Scorsese could have filmed Leo Di Caprio having a dump and still would have got the best director cos it was his turn and a standing joke that he loses. Clint got it the year before and Clooney well was the rookie so they threw him the best supporting actor in Syriana, that over hyped turd on a stick, sure he was good but c'mon its all politics not based on the performances.

Julie Christie the ex hottie will make mental illness the new fake nose, in fact if she wore a fake nose and played an Alzheimers sufferer there would be no doubt.

The films this year are dull second rate crappy jobbies full of has beens and B and D listers. Clooney looks to be the only star about the place.

None of the films are ones in which I sit up and say, "I really want to watch that" its like they are trying too hard to go against the usual shitty formula films and can only see an Ocsar as the be all and end all.

I'm not even going to watch it, "who are you wearing?" asks the melting puffer fish Joan Rivers, "yer ma" is my answer then she rudely ignores me to talk to emaciated Knightly, " do you have a eating disorder?" for fucks sake is the pope a Fenian?

Remember when I won my Oscar for 'Best Actor' in 'Site Meter'
A burnt out blogger on the edge who had enough with the blogosphere and finds he is being stalked by a bad blogger. Remember the line, " Moderation is for monks" when I took my comments off moderation and no longer gave a fuck? The crying scenes were the hardest, I thought about my father dying, the cunt isn't dead yet which is what upset me so much and then that fucking fake nose kept falling off.


In protest for the Oscars being so blah I have beheaded Edward Norton, don't worry his career was over years ago.

7 comments:

ellie said...

I don't watch films, well not ones with stories. I can't suspend reality for long enough. I look at the screen and wonder how many takes the scene took to film and try to guess the position of the mic off screen.

h said...

I always suspected you were ghey. The pics of you buggering George Clooney were a hint. Watching the Oscars....PROOF POSITIVE.

The Mistress said...

You have the same shape head and buttocks as the Oscar statuette.

I'm gonna give you a good polish.

Old Knudsen said...

ellie there is something wrong with you go rent Rambo 1 & 2 out NOW!

trolly I'd turn george into a cum bucket does that make me ghey? it could be worse, I could like American Idol, thats too ghey for gheys.

MJ ever wonder why they don't make Oscar dildos? mine works well enough.

Jenny said...

You clean up good.

Old Knudsen said...

You can't go wrong with Armani

Dave said...

Norton's playing the new Hulk, don't you know. So, yeah, his career has died a royal and bloody death. Well played, sir.