Monday 4 February 2008

Old Knudsen Finally Gets A Head

God does indeed work in mysterious ways. I was pretty broke the other week its a long story about the police finding bodies that I claim government benefits for I shan't bore you with the incriminating details.
So anyway I was looking around the Interweb and I saw this poster offering a reward . It so happens I was minding a Yorkshire terrier for a neighbour who is in hospital after breaking a hip on some ice, you see Old Knudsen is somewhat of a good Samaritan.

The real heroes of the world are dog groomers and hair dressers, have you ever tried to bleach and perm the head of a small animal ? God doesn't makes tasks easy, he helps him who helps himself but it looks like I did most of the work.

So I did all that and took some of the doggie to the owner, it was in quite a state by the time it got there because after I had finished I had the thought that every male has in a situation like this "I wonder what it would feel like to stick my dick into it" not bad I'd give it 4 out of 5 stars.

The Chinese woman didn't look very happy to see wee Ling Ling, her husband pushed a £ 50 note into my hand, that was it? for fucks sake doing the Lord's work certainly doesn't pay much.

On the way past the cemetery I picked up some flowers to go visit my neighbour, well I have to tell her about wee Mr Dizzy running away. I hope she likes the flowers, see? I'm not a total cunt.

4 comments:

V said...

Did they mean 'very good with the right type of sauce?'. I am more disturbed about what they wanted the head back for..

Anonymous said...

Perhaps they wanted to have him stuffed - Old Knudsen, I mean!

Old Knudsen said...

If I had a Poodle I'd call it "Curry" can a man not have a wee sleep on his own blog?

jali said...

That was the funniest shit.OMG. Great story guy!

I'm saving my place cust I gotta come back.