Thursday 7 February 2008

Over Heard At The Pub


Michael Jackson, Osama Bin Laden and the Pope in a plane

The plane is about to crash, and the Pope starts praying for God to save the Children.
'Fuck The Children' says Osama
To which Michael Jackson replies:
'Do we have time?'

A priest and a rabbi are walking along, and pass two young boys in the street.
The priest to the rabbi: You see those two boys? Lets go back there and fuck 'em.
The rabbi: Out of what?

A pedophile priest and a small child are walking in the woods. The child says 'it's scarey out here.' The priest responds 'if you think it's scarey, imagine me.
I have to walk out of here alone.'

How do you make a gay man have sex with your girlfriend?
Shit in her cunt.

Whats the difference between a train carriage and a miscarriage?
You can't eat a train carriage

What's black and doesn't work?
Half of Birmingham


"Hey that last one is just out of order you slitty eyed cunt."

Theres a moral to this post but I'm no pointing it out to ya.

13 comments:

Anonymous said...

Couldn't you at least have mentioned that it was overheard in a pub in Leeds?

Old Knudsen said...

I don't want the pedos in Leeds to think I have it in for them.

h said...

A priest and a Jewish boy die when a typical muslib sets off his suicide-bomb-belt. All three rise to judgement where they find the Southern Baptists who guard the gates in an unusually charitable mood.

Brother Earl and Brother Billy Ray decide to test the apostates. If they can resist the one thing they most craved on Earth, they'll be allowed to enter the Very Wrong But There's that Grace Thing section of Heaven on a trial basis.

They drop a 20 pound note on the floor. The Jewboy bends over to pick it up, and the muslib and the priest are banished to Hell.

Old Knudsen said...

I heard a bomb belt was one of their first toys. I love the smell of intolerance in the morning, it smells like religion.

Anonymous said...

Oh gaaaawd! ha ha ha ha

Old Knudsen said...

I must say that monkey is most creepy.

INNER VOICES said...

i like a little bit of "fucking" humor in the mornings.. thanks.. *sipping coffe*

Jenny said...

I got nothing to add, except.. I kinda like the monkey.

The Mistress said...

The monkey looks like George Burns.

Jenny said...

or Elliot Gould in Ocean's 11. And 12.

Old Knudsen said...

or the gurl from beverly hills 9021057032450

Anonymous said...

Excellent! I especially loved the last one!

Unknown said...

Most creepy indeed, that monkey surely is.


You were on a roll, I wish ya hadn't stopped. I do know you have your obligations but I was so enjoying the jokes.