Yes I do use the same pictures and yes my gun can shoot round corners.
The name is Knudsen....................... Soren Knudsen, its not like the films usually I get a "and?" afterwards. I became a member of her majesties secret service during the late 50's.
A little known part of the job description was to service her majesty in secret. I didn't mind this as the Queen is so fucking hot, she still is today, just thinking about her gives me a diamond cutter.
I'm a jack of all trades, spy, manhoor, special farces and window cleaner. Whatever my cuntry needed I was there. To get a double 'O' licence to kill rating you need to be able to rub yer belly and pat yer head at the same time, oh and kill two people, anyone will do.
I'm a jack of all trades, spy, manhoor, special farces and window cleaner. Whatever my cuntry needed I was there. To get a double 'O' licence to kill rating you need to be able to rub yer belly and pat yer head at the same time, oh and kill two people, anyone will do.
Its a little more complicated these days, in the 80's you had to kill the people and be able to program a VCR then it went even more high tech and you had to build a bookcase from IKEA and the cunts always had one part missing, killing the people was the easy part.
I got my licence early on in the game so I was ok, my secret number was double 'o' elevenityseven. Killing people was easy, especially if they were foreigners like Slavs or Greeks. The problem I had was seducing the weemen and pumping them for information.
I got my licence early on in the game so I was ok, my secret number was double 'o' elevenityseven. Killing people was easy, especially if they were foreigners like Slavs or Greeks. The problem I had was seducing the weemen and pumping them for information.
Everyone knows if you wear a tux and claim to be a spy weemen get damp in 0-20 seconds. They just wanted to brag about having shagged Knudsen........ Soren Knudsen but I kept falling in love being a sweet and sensitive soul, especially if they give me a rimjob and lick my barse then for me its love.
Being in love with a woman always meant that they would get killed and I'd have yet another chip on my shoulder. I also never team up with a cute dog, or a chubby partner who is likeable and has a family as they always end up dying.
One time a gurl I loved with a talented tongue was killed by being covered in gold, I was heart broken especially as there was no such thing as E-bay back then. Do you know how hard it is to sell a hot dead woman covered in gold? not too hard actually.
I always had gadgets that would save me during that particular mission but I hated them. You try to find the cigarette lighter on yer 1964 Aston Martin and end up ejecting yer shopping and firing missiles into a school, bloody annoying when yer gagging for a smoke.
Being in love with a woman always meant that they would get killed and I'd have yet another chip on my shoulder. I also never team up with a cute dog, or a chubby partner who is likeable and has a family as they always end up dying.
One time a gurl I loved with a talented tongue was killed by being covered in gold, I was heart broken especially as there was no such thing as E-bay back then. Do you know how hard it is to sell a hot dead woman covered in gold? not too hard actually.
I always had gadgets that would save me during that particular mission but I hated them. You try to find the cigarette lighter on yer 1964 Aston Martin and end up ejecting yer shopping and firing missiles into a school, bloody annoying when yer gagging for a smoke.
Those watches with the magnets and garrotes never tell the right time but its good for when you have to cut the cheese so to speak or if you drop a load of drawing pins (thumb tacks to you dumb yanks)
Being a spy isn't all glamorous, shagging hot weemen, killing bad guys and making humourous quips to yer Greek chorus, oh no theres a lot of smoking and drinking involved and yer life is in constant danger as yer wife may find out what yer up to.
I can trust you lot so here are some of the code-named operations I've been on, if you do read these and get killed well don't blame me, classified is for the weak.
Operation:
Dr Occasionally, Brownfinger in which I killed Baron Dirty Sanchez, From Killamory with clap, Bitterball, You only cum twice well I was on a schedule, Herpes are forever, The Man with the limp brown cock, The spy who gave me VD, Lotsofpussy, Muckraker, For yer brown eye only(catholic you see), Goldenshower, Lay another ghey, Chicken Royale and Quantum of a Solace. Excuse the last one for sounding a bit rude.
I just want you all to know that while I have a licence to kill which I just recently got re-newed doon at the town hall the world is safe, except on weekends and bank holidays.
Being a spy isn't all glamorous, shagging hot weemen, killing bad guys and making humourous quips to yer Greek chorus, oh no theres a lot of smoking and drinking involved and yer life is in constant danger as yer wife may find out what yer up to.
I can trust you lot so here are some of the code-named operations I've been on, if you do read these and get killed well don't blame me, classified is for the weak.
Operation:
Dr Occasionally, Brownfinger in which I killed Baron Dirty Sanchez, From Killamory with clap, Bitterball, You only cum twice well I was on a schedule, Herpes are forever, The Man with the limp brown cock, The spy who gave me VD, Lotsofpussy, Muckraker, For yer brown eye only(catholic you see), Goldenshower, Lay another ghey, Chicken Royale and Quantum of a Solace. Excuse the last one for sounding a bit rude.
I just want you all to know that while I have a licence to kill which I just recently got re-newed doon at the town hall the world is safe, except on weekends and bank holidays.
9 comments:
I can now sleep easy in my bed, knowing you are on duty.
I always thought you were a dangerous man ;)
You'll get a lot of barse-licking if you can put together IKEA products.
*checks to see if you're on my speed dial*
I do love it when you wear your tux.
It's hard when you're on top.
I can't imagine how it might be to approach her Majesty. Tell us how does it go?
Your Majesty would you like to be serviced / at your service.
Do you get to see her, or is it through the Victorian service screen. Wham Bam, and thank you mam
I think Paddy's in the wrong theater- living in the days of Bowie, and F. Mercury.
I for one suspected all along Knudsen there was something special about you from the day we met in Billy Butlins holiday camp on the pedal boats. I just knew by your deft manoeuvers there was more to you than met the eye; especiall when later you brought me to the bar, orderd the best- lots of it, and left me to pay the bill.
I admired your technique, and tried to emulate you ever since, but alas, I always seem to fail in the light of your smooth greatness, and continually get the shite knocked out of me.
Hope you and yours enjoyed a Happy Easter and that the Gospel Message continues to warm your soul and light your path.
bittersweet you sorry lass its a bank holiday.
psychicgeek only when I get shaken and stirred.
MJ you never do that thing you used to do anymore.
a boxer I thought you liked the gurl scout uniform better.
Paddy once summoned I get that look of steel in my eyes and roughly take the bitch, she loves it.
sean keep wearing the tux, getting into fights and rolling up into a ball as they kick you, you'll at least win some kind of moral victory.
trolly sorry about the mute monday but yes the lord does shine his love in my heart and over my barse.
Old man how many times do I have to tell you.... I like Girl Scout Cookies, not the uniform.
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