Sunday 16 March 2008

Good-Bye Big Ian Hello Drink


Everyone knows that gods representative on earth The most reverend and lovely Ian (alien) Paisley is retiring as Northern Ireland's First minister.
As well as running the Northern Ireland government with terrorists (Sinn Fein) he has also suggested that St Patrick's day should be made a public holiday in Northern Ireland.
The Free Presbyterian minister preaches about St Patrick every St Paddy's day just before he eats his traditional corned beef and cabbage along with potatoes which we all know is the stable diet of Bog trotters all over Ireland, some very Irish families (the types who win Irish blog awards and speak gheylick) eat it three times a day along with a pint of Guinness.
After Paisley's sermon he takes a shit on a picture of the Pope, gets drunk and does silly things.

Before I was barred from The Free Presbyterian church I heard one of Big Ian's sermons about St Patrick.
Ian's Sermon:

St Patrick lived in Roman Britain and at the age of sixteen was captured by Irish terrorists who I DENOUNCE AS FILTHY SODOMITES! and taken as a sex slave to Ireland.

He was forced to farm pigs up a hill before he escaped and traveled 200 miles to a port back to the mainland. I'm not saying these are SHAMEFUL FENIAN LIES! because most ports would be 50 miles east or west, maybe he went the long way SODOMISING CHILDREN! as he went.

Patrick returned to Ireland and began converting the terrorist pagans with his PAPAL LIES AND DECEITS AS GUIDED BY THE ANTICHRIST IN ROME! thus creating the sinful Catholic faith in Ireland.

Today it is our duty to forget the evil as perpetrated by those FILTHY IRISH SODOMITES! who disrespect the Queen by their very existence and move on as taught by our lord Jesus Christ even if they play their diddly eye music and line dance WITH ITS SEXUAL GESTURES AND TOUCHING AND ITS INCITEMENT TO LUST! because we Protestants are better than that and have love and compassion and are able to accept all the lords lesser creatures.

So today let them have their day and even share in it but remember that we won the war and ULSTER STILL SAYS NO! and if Ulster ever joins with the Republic of Ireland and accepts their Celtic tiger and poor health system and 3rd world values it WON'T BE IN MY LIFETIME! Now lets lift our voices in praise of the Lord and turn to page 32 in your booklets and sing 'love divine so great and wonderous .'

7 comments:

The Mistress said...

My bumper sticker says, "Proud to Suck Fenian Cock."

Alan said...

All you nee is love da da dada daaaa, and all you nee is a few bob as well.
Happy Paddy's Day!

Alan said...

PS: you need it as well;-) ;-) ;-)

Anonymous said...

An educated, well balanced sermon! Paisley is worth to receive everything after death the eternal forces are able to put on one single soul ...

Jenny said...

wow and I really, really thought it was about drinking the beer.

Thanks.

M@ said...

Yes, don't forget about the sodomy.

Old Knudsen said...

::::sighs::::: Isn't big Ian wonderful...........