Tuesday 11 March 2008

I'm As Sane As The Next Man

My nephew wanted me to play 'World of Warcraft' but he didn't explain the rules very well. Apparently its some computer game for young virgin males who should never be allowed access to guns.

The English language is a toughy sometimes especially when you have people like the Yanks and the English who think they speak it but don't.

I once wrote on-line that I was too pissed to e-mail and was going to bed. In real terms this meant I drank a load of alcohol and was tapping out words on my keyboard with one finger like a bird pecking at seed hoping it made sense.
The next day some American girl was asking all concerned as to why I was angry.

Recently someone made a comment on a blog about the Queen having the face of a frog. Well I got stuck into the cunts as I have sworn an oath of allegiance to Arthur king of the Britons his heirs and successors also her majesty Queen Elizabeth II and I have had a close relationship over the years and though Edward was the product from my crusty loins and a bitter disappointment to me I still have Lizzie on my list of fuck buddies.

I took that individual's link off my blog and went through my 1000 odd posts on this blog and deleted all their comments and next week I plan to get their bank details, murder their 2 pet cocker spaniels and frame them for a terrorist plot.

The person e-mailed me and asked me, "are you really mad?"

Mad? I've often wondered if I am or not but then you hear people say if you question it then you are sane but then I think maybe you are just insanely curious or madly introspective.

Why can a person who is mad not wonder if they are mad? surely their thought processes are so they can think coherently anyway.
For instance wankers spammed me for 2 months and had the cheek to call me paranoid, I don't think I'm paranoid though I do not trust and believe anyone and think many of my commenters are out to get me.

Then theres those stories in the news about people who think they know where a load of Nazi gold is buried, either this is real or the Nazis are trying to trick me into revealing where I hid their gold, can the spamming and Nazis be connected? does this sound like someone who is insane? could a nutter put pieces of the story like this together or would they be rocking for 6 hours in the corner of the room humming a tune?

Obviously I'm not mad though cumming into spring I am feeling quite full of the horn it was a nice day today in Killamory, the storm passed us by nicely so the weemen were walking about in their skimpy tops and their pink sweat pants that say 'pink' on the arses oh yeah I was walking round with a bulge in my trousers if you know what I mean, ok the bulge was in the back of my trousers and left a big stain.

I don't think there is any saving them so being the kind soul I am I'll drop them off at the Salvation Army camp to pass on to the poor and needy I'm fucked if I'm washing them though since when were the homeless picky?

I was once a sniper in the Salvation Army, that was back in the 60's I don't want to get into the whole JFK thing now as I don't care if yer Catholic scum or not I believe in religious tolerance now and so will tolerate them and just be smug in the fact that if you don't belong in my church/cult you'll burn in Hell.

The Catholics have a limbo they send people to so they don't look like total cunts when they say that decent people aren't allowed in Heaven. I think doing the limbo and all that calypso music would be worse than Hell, how low can you go? I'll go all the way doon to Hell please.


Hell used to be that place where normal people went to and was run by Hel the Goddess of the Underworld until God won in a rigged election and replaced her with his man Satan.

God is as big as Haliburton and just as powerful so Hell got to be a place you didn't want to go to and Christianity became the biggest money making venture ever but never mind that why am I talking about religion and insanity? theres no fucking connection there whats so ever and if any Muslim says otherwise I'll convert them at the point of my sword .

So to answer that walking dead persons question no Old Knudsen is not mad and how dare you insinuate that he is, as I said to my nephew the other day, "touch the pasty on the top shelf of the fridge and I'll cut another one of yer fingers off."


Ted Bundy, AKA 'The Next Man.'


11 comments:

Alan said...

What can I say, but "sonud as a pound."

Anonymous said...

Or, pound sand. Or pond scum. But mad? Delightfully so.

The Mistress said...

That one-eyed pickle ain't no Gherkin.

Jenny said...

are you really high?

Bunny said...

Ya know I love yer crazy arse, but ye are as mad as a hatter, you know?

Old Knudsen said...

sean a pound of what?

psychicgeek I believe the CIA are using psychics against me, lucky my mind is like a fortress.........of solitude.

MJ the only one to mention it, I do like to throw odd stuff out there.

a boxer only when I'm standing on a soap box.

bunny I'm sure hares and bunnys can mate, I'll look into it.

Anonymous said...

Sounds all very reasonable to me.
Pic one is lucky that the slashes did not go too deep, his lung's seemingly not collapsed. Is "Ted Bundy" something from outer space?

savannah said...

it's that time of the year, sugar...clean out the cobwebs and assorted flotsam.

PENDULUM said...

A pound of live kippers in a salty sea bag, what else;-) ;-)

Xmichra said...

um ya... deleting a link is not being mad... but combing through comments?? sounds to me like you were pissed deary.
But you know i like the dirty end of the pool, so i have no problems wit it.. lol....

FirstNations said...

once I came to the bit about you having been a sniper in the Salvation Army I just stopped believing. I mean come on now.they haven't used snipers since Kent State. 'Blood and Fire' indeed.