Friday 25 April 2008

A Guide To Courting

Firstly crime doesn't pay, unless yer good at it. I was in the Killamory Crown Court today for slanderous disgusting charges. How could anyone think I could do such a thing? I don't want to get into details but let me ask you this.

If you found a dead but very attractive person what would do? why call the police? I mean they are dead, no helping them.

Maybe you if you were old and mentally fragile you could say you thought they were passed out and you tried to revive them like any good Samaritan would do, but without the necessary training you thought that using yer penis was acceptable, that doesn't sound unreasonable now does it?

Well I'm Presbyterian not Samaritan whatever Samaritans are but I'm sure they'll burn in Hell for something.


let me ask you this, why would God create so many orifices on a person if he didn't intend for you to stick yer lad into them? it makes total sense to me.

So anyway it turns out that the person was to turn 18 at the start of next month which leads doon the old kiddie diddling path, oh c'mon if I had found such a person they would have looked like their early 20's to me.

Talk amongst yerselves, does she not look over 18 or what?

What if you had already went through their pockets and found only some coins and a bit of gum in some tin foil ? how the fuck are you supposed to know how old they are ? they should put out public information adverts out on the telly for such instances so I'd blame the government.

My solicitor used the Spock defense, " Spock didn't have any siblings this we all knew for he grew up on the planet vulcan a lonely half breed with only his targ-pig to play with, then how come in Star Trek 5 did Spock suddenly have a brother? because Vulcans mate for life, this doesn't make sense, me talking about this doesn't make sense either so then if none of it makes sense then I ask nay I demand you find Old Knudsen 'Not Guilty' remember not guilty doesn't mean innocent which makes sense so vote now or die !"

Oh he was good, they couldn't find a jury of my peers so underlings had to do and they are so easy to lead, I got off and then I was acquitted, justice was served and now I am suing the family of the dead person if there was a dead person for mental trauma and whiplash.

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3 comments:

Momentary Madness said...

Yes, indeed make use of everything.
Want not, wast not.
Helen Kubler Ross would approve of anyone working/becoming familiar with the dead, and dying- helps you to come to terms with the next world.

The Mistress said...

That cop is trying to stick something in your face which just goes to prove your point.

dai said...

Justice prevails. You just have to love a happy ending.