Thursday 17 April 2008

How Much Spunk Can A Wood Chuck Chuck?

It was a wet morning as I walked the path up to the old Heston place in Killamory. I had been informed that a special reading of a separate will was to be read out there and I had received a nomination for "Best Scotch drinking buddy" I hoped it was drinking Scotch and the yank cunt hadn't just called me Scotch.
The right revered Sean Connery in the Presidio said, "Scotch is a drink I'm a Scotsman."

I reached the front door and grabbed the big knocker, "Oh you saucy git" said Agnes the hoosekeeper as she was coming out, "Just you go in there Mr Knudsen, your expected" I felt her other big knocker and promised her a good going over at the weekend then I when inside to the main study.

Jives the butler was there along with an assortment of other people.
Charlton Heston had met many of these people (including myself) during the making of the film 'Loco Hero' here in killamory and we had remained friends ever since.
He even bought a holiday home in killamory and we'd sit and drink making lists of people to shoot then we'd go and shoot homeless people and gypsies, usually I'd get into trouble for that but Chuck was a star so it was ok .


Other people got the BMW, the cock ring and the .44 Magnum then he got to me. I was the most beloved of God's angels until I told him his arse was big then I was cast out of Heaven and now I was the most beloved of the guy who played God.
Chuck left me one million dollars as long as I vowed to remain bitter and posted three of his favourite pictures in this post.


To be honest I wanted the cock ring but this was pretty good, well until I took the cheque to the bank to get it cashed.
One million American dollars is only worth £100, thats pounds sterling but since I didn't live in Sterling it was only £86 Killamory, if I lived in Zimbabwe I'd be set for life.

America is a Super power? what the fuck? is that supposed to be ironic or something? Like Little John or calling a flight recorder a 'Black Box' when its totally orange?

Well enjoy the pictures and think how many times Chuck has chucked to these with his blunder buster.

I'm off to take my mates out for a drink, yep it'll just be myself.


Latest OBB News Up-Dates

2 comments:

Miss Smuggersham said...

Hey! You don't like my spider woman suit?

Old Knudsen said...

MJ the boxer did, what a git.

a boxer save it for the ring champ, the cock ring.

t-bird I like it a lot.