Friday 11 April 2008

Theres Something About Hillary

Hillary Clinton had made this comment about how she came under sniper fire when she landed in Bosnia in 1996.

According to her story she and her daughter, Chelsea, had to run for cover as soon as they landed for a visit . Video footage of the day instead showed a peaceful reception in which an 8-year-old girl greeted the first lady.

The video footage is obviously a right wing conspiracy against the Clintons.

Bill has come out and said the media got the facts confused and she told it late one night while tired and apologised for it right after and she was the first first lady since Eleanor Roosevelt to go into a combat zone.
Well Bill was thinking about some hot fat chick in the audience because

1) Hillary told the story several times,
2) never apologised,
3) Pat Nixon and Barbara Bush have been in war zones and hey Laura Bush went to Israel, close enough I reckon
4) Bill said it was 1995 instead of 96.

Bill is indeed a fucker trying to sabotage his wives career because his is over and still looking like a good guy for defending her, typical cycle of abuse pattern, passive aggressive behaviour of a slug not fit to lick out her stench trench.

I'll tell you what happened. In 1996 I was employed by the RIA (Republican Intelligence Agency) no nothing to do with the IRA (Irish Republican Army) though I do believe they may have sent them money for bombs to kill innocent civilians as many Americans of Irish descent have done because they are stupid morons but enough about that.

The rent was due and my tab at the pub was high and acting in porn just wasn't enough because of those fucking streaming videos and YouTubes making videos obsolete.

I was hired to go to Bosnia and assassinate Hillary with full endorsement from Bill. I was under cover as a queer Englishman (is there any other type?) Lord Haw haw of Suchington my name was and I was there to hunt the local wildlife just for the sport of it as shooting unarmed animals from a distance is just so sporting like.

I took my position high on hill on a lonely outcrop where the goat herders stop to have their lunch opposite the airport.
The UN peacekeepers were standing holding their dicks as they usually do cos that's all they are allowed .

I tied a rope around my rifle and around a tree to give me a steady aim and when Hillary stepped off the plane I had her in my sights.

It was the first time I had gotten a really good look at her, sure I had my picture as to who I was to shoot but she was smiling and moving and that's when I fell in love.


My safety was off and my finger was on the trigger, I tried to control my breathing but my heart was beating too fast, could I deny the world of this lovely creature? I don't mind killing ugly fuckers but surely this would be a sin against God.

I couldn't do it I pointed my rifle up in the air and screamed as I discharged my weapon in frustration, a silly thing to do but love has never been a very sensible thing to begin with.

Hillary and Chelsea were rushed to safety and the UN peacekeepers rushed through the paperwork in triplicate and 30 minutes later fired upon my position.

I was long gone and knew I now had to go after the RIA handlers before they sent out deleters to get me, that's probably why you don't hear about the RIA anymore, now they out source to companies like Treadstone and Blackwater, the later who as you may have noticed have had their contract re-newed despite the controversy of civilian deaths in Iraq, funny that.

Like commenters I have to be careful on which jobs I accept as they may be fake spam jobs out to destroy me.
Just because yer paranoid doesn't mean that they aren't, hold on did you just hear a click? oh sorry that was just me typing.

This post was in no way paid by the Clinton campaign, its love that makes me own up. You won't be president but you could be my Queen of the damned.


8 comments:

The Mistress said...

Did you ever get into Barbara's Bush?

How about Eleanor Roosevelt? Now there was a looker.

Jenny said...

"discharged my weapon in frustration"

I'm sorry to hear that. Old age is a bitch, ain't it?

M@ said...

I just discovered a little while ago that Sen. Clinton's federal campaign headquarters is 150 yards (meters) or so from my apartment here in Arlington, Virg.

I wish they'd just shut the fuck up. I'm trying to get some sleep over here.

Old Knudsen said...

MJ I was Barbara and laura's sandwich meat.

a boxer is blood in yer semen normal? just wondering if you would know.

matt you should be out of range of a small bomb in case that happens again.

Momentary Madness said...

I'll have to stop cumin here .... now I could almost vote ror Hillary.
Just what is it about a woman wearing her arse on her chest that catches us by the pecker- she's just a "naked ape" I guess

Xmichra said...

... so the position of queen of the damned is still open then?? I always wanted to be queen (not a queen, just so we are clear).

FirstNations said...

oooooooooooooH-
High on a hill on a lonely outcrop
ladeodle,ladeodle, lay de hoo!
I coulda shot but instead I misfired
ladeodle,ladeodle,oooooo.

Maria Von Trapp is watching you.

Old Knudsen said...

MM cold showers and bromide in yer tea.

xmichra I'll put yer name in the hat, second prize is a lovely picnic hamper.

FN Tell von trapp I can see her on me shite meter.