Friday 30 May 2008

Kirk Douglas Is Outed

Don't look into his eyes.

The truth as to why Old Knudsen is in Americy is not because he is a tax exile or has been made a huge throbbing offer to re-start his porn acting career in order to save that particular industry.
Oh no my friends for I was once one of God's most fairest angels, The Morning Star, The Light Bearer or The Hot But Still Cool, yes I had many names and though I always speak the truth some took that as arrogance and pride but is it really pride to say that my booty is hotter than yers when it is?

The truth that I speak today is that Old Knudsen has cum to Americy to hunt monsters. Yes my friends they are real and I am on the trail of an undead soul muncher.

Where am I ? why am I wet ? got any life force ?

A soul muncher is a demon that feeds of the life force of others, the actor you may know as Kirk Douglas is such a vile creature.
His ancient Sumerian name being Issur Danielovitch and he has also gone by the name Sparticus but then again who hasn't ?
In this current life he is known as Kirk Douglas the father of that disgusting half a star Michael Douglas who married the stuck up Welsh witch Catherine Zeta Jones who made Ocean's 12 worse than it already was which was very bad. A whole family of evil, EVIL I say.

Look how Kirk Douglas mocks Christianity by naming himself 'Kirk' which is Scottish for church and Douglas which is a town on the Isle of Man but that has nothing to do with it.


Taking advantage of poor ghey scientologist John Travolta .

Douglas claims to be 91 years old but I know him to be much older, he goes around giving playgrounds to children's schools and charities EVIL playgrounds! and goes doon the slide for a photo op. He may be 91 but he could snap yer neck like Michael Moore breaking open a fried chicken wing to get to the fleshy flesh flesh within.


Taking the life force of poor ghey scientologist John Travolta, that should keep him going for another year.

Charlton Heston put up a superb fight before I banished that cunt to hell dimension with that Fosset wanker. I'm on to ya Douglas, the trick is not to look them in the eyes because then yer eyes will go all watery looking at their watery eyes then they'll suck off yer life force.


19 comments:

The Mistress said...

I am the keeper of the Knudsen booty pics.

You'll have to go through me.

Kimberly said...

oooooooo.......

A Bonus!.....

(Just when I thought my Friday was gonna be uneventful)

Jenny said...

Oh hellloooo - Kimberely.... it won't be that easy. After you get passed MJ (and you won't) you'll be looking straight at me.

Kimberly said...

....L......

Mess with me, You won't be lookin' "straight" at anything...........

The Mistress said...

I'm lookin' at his arse right now as we speak.

It's so fiiiiinnnne.

savannah said...

rough stuff on a friday...gonna be a hellva weekend, sugar! xox

*getting the popcorn ready*

Old Knudsen said...

kimberly, MJ and A Boxer My toned and finely sculptured well moisturised arse is flattered (bet you wondered what that smell was) crusades have been fought over it and many have paid the ultimate price just to touch it (free drink) I don't know why my beautiful booty drives people to the edge of madness I suppose its my curse, I hear that Brad Pitt and George Clooney wank over my pictures.

savannah why can't we all just get a bong?

Bunny said...

So it was you that got Fosset, eh? I was wondering what happened to that "I'm rich, but I get even richer people to sponsor my ill-conceived flights of fancy" schmuck. A job well done.

Jenny said...

MJ - tell me, does it glow?

Kimberly said...

Can you bounce a quarter off of it???

Kimberly said...

Is is soft and squeezy??

angela said...

" ... a soul muncher is a demon that feeds off the life force of others."

Yes, these are mentioned in 'Dungeons and Dragons', Volume XIX, p.339. They have forty hit dice and count +3 in attack against bloggers with a sense of humour. Good hunting Knudsen, give im one for me.

Kimberly said...

.......What?....

angela said...

Google it.

Kimberly said...

Nahh.....That's alright I'll pass,

I'm late..There's a Blackjack Table waiting on me across town.........

You go ahead on with your Bad-Ass self though......Whatever blows your dress up.....=0)

The Mistress said...

Angela: Have you considered setting up a blog?

angela said...

mj : yeah, but its more fun filling in the vacuous gaps in Knudsen's. He's gettin on a bit, you know.

kimberly : sorry sweetie, no offence intended.

Kimberly said...

huh?...

Oh...No problem........
Not offended..... ^j^ ^j^

Anonymous said...

Uncanny resemblance between you and old Kirky!