Monday 16 June 2008

I Haven't Gone Away You Know


I'm looking into buying a motorhome like this one as having a shite in yer vehicle sounds rather fun.

Here is where I do that thing that everyone else does. I go walk about for a while. Yes I realise in doing so that many people will stop checking in to see if I return or not of course you could just sign up on my feedburner on the sidebar and get any posts in yer mail.

I've been blogging since 2006 and have had a fine old time, maybe I've said all that I want to or maybe I just can't be arsed anymore. I hope I've made you laugh a little and maybe boak a bit, if you were offended then good I'm an artist and invoking emotions is my thing, I just hope I've made some people think and that you just didn't miss my points to look at the tits.

I have too little time at the mo to blog and am failing in visiting all yer blogs due to that little time and my dial-up connection, I'm a victim of my own success which is why I still like my news blog. I re-work stories that are out there and treat it like a real news site therefore I don't comment, well ok I may do the odd anonymous comment but there is no pressure to reply with a witty quip as I'm trying to get a job as a professional news cunter.

I'll post on my various blogs when I feel like it, time to blog for myself and if anyone wants to read and keep up then fair play each blog is a different mood for me like, "hmm what will I eat for dinner chips and peas or chips and beans?"

One last thing. If you need a psychic healer to help you or to give you a reading I can totally vouch for Witchypoo.
She can do it over the web or phone and gave me proof of her abilities by being right twice against the odds. Go to her website and purchase her purple plates. I was skeptical at the pseudo science explanation about them but she swears by them and I trust her Mojo.

I got a disk and a plate and put the plate under my pillow, not really expecting much but on the first night I got the best deep sleep I've had in years and I've generally just felt better. Another person I know who slept with one under their pillow had a dream that addressed his issues about not being hugged enough as a child but since his parents have long gone he never healed. He had a dream in which he talked to his parents and told them all the things he wish he could have said to them and got closure.
I called him a pussy and have since stopped him from watching Oprah.

This is supposed to be a palm tree but it reminded me of something else, don't eat here.


My penis has not gotten bigger due to the plates its still a measly 12 inches long but my leg that was bitten off by a Great white panda grew back ...................... which was nice.

I'll be about on the Internet and on my blogs a little but this one I'll be taking a break, click off to another blog for yer fun I have the ideas but not the will.


Oh c'mon if you can't find humour in a big wiener deal then there is something wrong with you.


17 comments:

Anonymous said...

Maybe it's a gemini thing, but I just can't be arsed to post today or yesterday, but I'm subscribed to your feeds. Thanks for the pimping.The purple plates don't make yer penis bigger. How to improve on perfection, see? Can't be done.

Jenny said...

12"??

Dude.

The Mistress said...

I'll check in every day.

Like I did with that cunt Eddie Waring even though I thought he was never coming back I kept on clicking every day hoping one day I'd see his sweaty arse crack.

Then, one day, like a miracle, he returned.

I was thinking about you today and how you've been a bit moody (kinda like me at that time of the month but I don't think you get a period, do you?) and I wished I could take out my false teeth for you and do that ... oh, are other people reading this?

Anyway, if you need a break, so be it.

But I hope you'll be back sooner than that cunt Waring.

You are a brilliant blogger.

I salute you.

Hell, I'll even brew you a cuppa tea if you come back soon and you don't even have to cuddle me.

Old Knudsen said...

pyschicgeek I was surprised by the purple thingys its like it shouldn't happen.

kimberly My black dog of depression is licking the peanut butter off me balls.

a boxer did I mention that was 12 inches soft?

MJ Eddie's return was too much for me. It may be my period as i am bleeding out of me arse after I scratch it, thats what weemen do right?

Anonymous said...

So this time for real old Knudserich.

Tempora muntantur et nos mutamur in
illis.

I'll keep stumblin' in here and have a look at the news, and oh yes Fluffie needs company! Blog off ye olde cunt and greetings to the Caretaker. Maybe he gets his life back ...

Unknown said...

Salve et vale, or whatever the Romans said when they got sore from marching a long way.

If you happen accross Fat Sparrow, Sweary or Kav out there in the nether regions tell them hello and wish them well.

Bittersweet said...

i always smile (sometimes retch) when your feed pops up in my window.

I'll keep the home fires burning .. just in case.

The Mistress said...

Bittersweet - He feeds you through a window?

I'm lucky to get a few scraps thrown at my feet.

dai said...

Sounds a bit dodgey to me, I'll bet he got a new job writing in Hollywood.

All the best mate.

The Mistress said...

I'll bet he's got someone sprawled out on the casting couch right this instant.

Anonymous said...

Don't be gone long. We need your cunning insight.

Jenny said...

Aww jeez, I thought you were kidding - really?

Well, when you return from your travels in the Winnebago, maybe you'll have a change of heart.

Why can't you take OBB on the road with you?

Fine - I'll just get my porn from MJ.

dai said...

Knudsen,

Before you go off on your holidays tell us a bit about how the Knudsen clan got to Scotland. I have done some reading on how the primary purpose of the plantation scheme was to populate the northern counties of Ireland with loyal British subjects to counterbalance the native Irish. And that Scotland was only too willing to participate. And that it was seen as a way to eradicate Scotland of the hordes of Lowland and Border Scots, many of whom in their desperate poverty felt compelled to turn to a life of marauding and horse thievery, which had become an occupation in itself in the Scottish countryside.

Nothing negative mind you, I was just wondering where a fine Scandanavian sounding name came from and survived amongst Celts, Gaels, Troglodites and Bog trotters.

Being a patially educated half Welsh half Rebel (Note: Not a fucking Yankee) I'm just curious.

I'll miss you mate, enjoy the good life.

The Mistress said...

You're pining for Killamory, aren't you?

angela said...

me pig.
knudsen you no go.
throw more truffles. pig hungry :(

Anonymous said...

I am drooling over the thought of a big wiener deal.

Wonder if it comes with a side order of pubes?

The Mistress said...

Could you put the contents of your blog on audio tape so that we might listen as we imagine you tucking us into bed at night?