Saturday 14 June 2008

Pimp Up Yer Cunt

Islamic Idol, "Am a maze i ing he ing ger ace a ace how ow ow say weet we et the hu huh huh say ound e ound" I swear Amazing Grace didn't have so many syllables, and you call that singing, that's pathetic.

Wha wha wha! where is Old Knudsen with my daily dose of clap and humour? well according to my shite meter no one cares anyway must be coming into summer.

C'mon people when the greatest blogger in the world gets less than a hundred hits that means either hes lost his edge or his readers got lives. I'm more inclined to think I've lost my edge as my readers are such sad pathetic cunts............. no offense.

Little did I know that moving to the land of the fat and the home of the poorly educated would employment opportunities open up so readily.

I can't say much about my work as its highly classified, all I can say is that the president himself Dick Cheny sent me to Guantánamo Bay to torture er I mean question the prisoners, I left on a secret flight by black helicopter to a special ops airport in San Diego under the command of Colonel Josh Williams to fly by red and white aeroplane to Cuba.

Sorry I can't give you details about my work but it would be way too dangerous for you.

Silly cunts they pray to Mecca 5 times a day and still don't know where it is.

Guantánamo Bay is a lovely place by the sea. I think people only want to close it out of jealousy because they can't live in a tropical paradise so why should the ragheads?

Lets use the human rights argument, yeah yeah and pedos have human rights too 'BOOM' yer argument has just shown you up as a pedo terrorist lover and no friend of mine.

Support the troops, give a yank a yank.
I heard all the same silly things during the Boer war when the British set up concentration camps for the families of the Boers who didn't like British rule in order to force them to surrender yawn yawn yawn, just look at South Africa now full of blacks hacking each other to death with machetes and burning each other to death with tires.



I want to know one thing, in South Africa there is violence against immigrants from countries like Zimbabwe and the Congo, they are killing them there, what I want to know is how can they tell the foreigners apart? they all look the same.

Africa, America, Northern Ireland see what happens when you kick the British troops out? crime goes up and education goes doon.

On the whole people still like the British mostly because we brought civilisation to a quarter of the world who didn't appreciate it but also because people think the Brits are quirky people who drink tea and wear funny hats, hey fuck face don't sit there looking at my avatar go put the fucking kettle on and I'm Ulster/Scots, I'm only British to you cunts that don't know a thing about my culture and I'm tired of explaining it, go read a book or something .

Why honour the human rights of the Sand savages at Guantánamo Bay ? are they actually human? look what happened when the blacks had their human rights recognised, they blame whitey and eat BBQ chicken and cause crime, at least before they had work and we had cheap cotton and servants.

Remember the blacks never believed or cared much for weemen's rights and going by the way they treat their bitches and hos now they still don't.

You have the right to remain hot! I love weemen, have I mentioned that before? oh fer yer minds and intellect.

So the blacks were allowed to vote and then white weemen are allowed such rights too, look how the gurls re-pay us, they stop faking orgasms and just tell us er you that yer crap and won't suck yer willy anymore because they got what they wanted.

I don't mind paying for whatever but I just miss the old days .

Don't get me wrong I'm not racist or sexist I just want my willy treated like an ice cream cone before it melts and for black people to pull up their trousers and stop being so loud and fucking vulgar. Not much to ask for now is it?

So anyway getting back to my job that I can't talk about those sand niggers at Guantánamo Bay all say they are innocent but give them a sword and an infidel and they will convert you to Islam.

After I'm finished with them they are lucky if they can hold swords, the first rule of torture.......you don't talk about it , the second rule of torture.......... you call it interrogation, the third rule of torture......... earn yer pay and be professional, theres nothing as bad as someone doing their job half arsed.

Fair weather friends, otherwise known as politicians. Oh I'll talk to Iran ok, I'll tell them to fuck off!

I say keep Guantánamo Bay open and in 100 years or so let some ragheads open up casinos to keep them happy.
If you close Guantánamo Bay you let the terrorists win and why appease them when you should be nuking them? unless you like terrorists that is and are therefore unpatriotic, you cunts! go vote for Obama why don't you for yer hope, change and other vague things, at least with McCain you know what yer getting.


As a white Christian male with at least 4 years of schooling under his belt I see nothing wrong at Guantánamo Bay and at $12 an hour I'll question yer ma with electric nipple clamps (I'd do that for free, yer ma is hot) so don't go judging and handing out human rights, next you'll want Osama to get a fair trial and what happens when he hires expensive lawyers and gets off with it?

If you believe in fairies, the loch Ness monster and that yer vote matters then yer a mong, go read 'The Secret' and buy Al Gore's film.

Just stand back and let us do our jobs, go sort out Global warming or something. I looked up Global warming on Snopes.com and guess what? its a load of old bollocks, slap yerself you idiot hippy types.

If you cum here looking for new funny posts every day well you pay me for fuck all so go read the old posts you didn't bother to read before theres well over 2000 so get busy, I ain't yer monkey boy.


4 comments:

Eddie Waring said...

I don't come here for the humour, I come here for the education. Tim Russert died yesterday, I'm assuming you have already been approached to fill his spot?

The Mistress said...

Boxer is out having a life in my city and I'm shut in because it's not safe with her roaming the streets.

And talk about torture...on top of it all I have cramps.

I think you should do more posts about female troubles.

What the hell is in Eddie's avatar?

Old Knudsen said...

eddie No I wasn't asked, its all politics you know.

MJ I do like to trouble the females. Eddie's avatar is of Eddie, hes an ugly cunt for sure.

lceel if you feel like a homo go have one.

Bunny said...

I ain't yer monkey boy

Oh really now, Monkey Boy? We'll see about that . . .